Back To The Past (Girl AU)(Jiang Ying,Jiang Wuxian)

Chapter 24: Hurt

I woke up 4 am and i go to the bath tub to get ready and dressed up

After i got ready, i write a letter to gege and jie since i can't bring myself to ask their permission because they wont allow me to go by myself since they are pretty overprotective

anyway i look pretty today hehe i also bring my guqin and store it at my bracelet

I suddenly hear a soft knock and so i open the door and i saw him, my hubby look at me to check if i am ready and blush because of my look, i guess my preparation doesn't get in vain but i still can't read him that much sometimes i think he is inlove with me again and sometime i think he hate me

" Good morning lan zha- i mean lan er gonzi" darn i am still not used not to call him lan zhan

" Lan zhan" he said which make me confuse

"Huh?" i ask and crunched my nose and pout which make lan zhan's ear to neck get red

' lan wanji, lan wanji control yourself you cant kiss him here and now patience!" lan zhan though

"call me lan zhan" he said which make me smile

'mine!' lan zhan thought

while we are traveling, we are still quiet. even thought he let me call him lan zhan, i still feel that he is so far from me. does he hate me? does he not love me? did his feeling change because i change? did my new personality affect his feeling? and my mind travel at our past life.

i shook my head. overthinking wont help, what i need to do is ask, one thing that i learn in my past life is don't assume things and don't let a misunderstanding occur.

because of misunderstanding,i lost everything

i am so engrossed in my thought that i didn't notice that we are already in yiling

" Lan Zhan can we eat first before going to burial" i ask in pleading tone, I didn't eat anything since morning and i am starving. i saw how lan zhan's eyes soften

" Miss Jiang is hungry?" he asked

" I am starving" i said dramatically and continue speaking " you call me ying or yingying no one call me that"
i saw how his eyes widen but nod his head

"why?" he asked and i give him a confuse look

" why did ying not told me that you are hungry" he said which make me gasped my a-zhan speaks many words

" i don't want to annoy you because of me being demanding" i honestly said.

i don't want him to hate me, i don't want him to avoid me , i just can't , can't live without him, i can't live without my soulmate, the one that give me a strength and give me a comfort, his presence make me feel that everything will be alright

i saw how his eyes widen at what i said

" Jiang Ying doesn't annoy me" he said in a firm but soft tone and it's time for my eyes to wide

" You don't hate me? the way i tease or bug you?" i ask in hopefull tone

" Can't hate ying" he said which make my heart beat faster and i can't help but to blush so hard oh damn heart easy i might have a heart attack.

but suddenly my mind travel at how he treat me this fast few days, the time which make me confuse of his feeling and the way he ignore me in my past life and i suddenly can't stop my self at snapping at him

" Then why!?" why don't you spare me a glance in past few days! why don't you talk to me beside saying mn? i am that unworthy of you, all i am holding on is that you used to love me but that was in the past, i am not living in the past nor want to live in past and call me selfish but i dont want you to just love me in the past, call me greedy, but i just want my lan zhan to also love me in present and future. instead of saying that ,what i can just mutter is

" why?" in broken tone. i saw a confusion and surprise in her eyes when he heard my tone along with pain that i am hurting

" Jiang Yin-" i cut him off i don't want to cry and broke down, not now maybe later i can confess all i feel

" It's fine, I'm fine,forget the food let's directly go to the top of burial" i said , we decide to just seal and drop the yin iron at the top, where wen chao throw me

' JIANG YING! stop your thought everything will be fine. Lan Zhan love me,lotus pier will be fine' i convince myself and suppressed the feeling i have right now, burying the pain in my broken heart that was caused by the past

I already goes toward the direction of the top of burial leaving no room for argument with lan zhan

Lan Zhan And I use an talisman to make sure that no one recognize us. after we got through the top we drop the yin iron and we go down and left, when we make sure that no one saw us we remove the talisman

" Lets eat" lan zhan broke the silence between us

" No nee-" before i can finish lan zhan already drag me to the inn and book a room

He told the inn keeper to deliver the meal on our rented room

NOTE!!!;
( Confession is neeeexttttt chapter and i am sorry if my grammar is wrong or my story is not that good)