Denied Love

Chapter 4

The air was thick with tension, even if I was in my room. The awkward glances and averting gazes soon got on my nerves.

"So are you going to help me with History or not?" Her head snapped to face me quickly, too quickly. Almost as if she was waiting for me to speak. Her curly, brunette hair bounced at the sudden movement. She cleared her throat, she looked somewhat nervous.

"Alright. I brought over some of my notes. You can go over them," Ophelia seemed uncomfortable talking with me and I wanted to know why. She should be furious or trying to pull the hair on my head off. But somehow she sat there, fiddling with her fingers.

Nervous.

I shouldn't be complaining though. This would make my plan so much easier. The plan to win her back so she can be my best friend again, the chances growing slimmer every day.

"I'm sorry."     "I'm sorry."

We both said it simultaneously. My eyes widened with shock and hers flickered away with embarrassment. What was going on? Why was she apologising? She didn't have anything to be sorry for. I mean, I was the one who kissed her brother. Still, I wanted to listen to her speak. I nodded, signalling for her to go on. She sighed, preparing herself.

"The truth is, I was just angry at you for only being my friend because of Antonio," I wanted to interrupt, tell her that it wasn't true, but right now she wanted me to listen to what she had to say. So that's what I did. I listened.

"I thought our whole relationship was just based on you liking him. So when you told me he kissed you, I went straight home to shout at him," I couldn't help but realise her words had changed from last time. She said he kissed me, not the other way around.

"When I got there and started ranting on about how you betrayed me, he simply said, "It's my fault." I was shocked at first," She scoffed as she replayed what happened between the two.

"He told me about him kissing you and how you said you didn't want it because of who he was. I should know better than to think years of friendship would go down the drain for some boy. I realised I was the bad friend for not believing you," At this point, tears welled up in both our eyes. Me, because I knew I was the bad friend for lusting and loving my best friend's brother and her because she didn't believe me.

It's not like Antonio was lying when he said I had been the one to stop, but what happened those few weeks ago in my kitchen wasn't me stopping. It was me giving in. So she shouldn't have believed me but I couldn't tell her that. Guilt seeped through my veins, waiting to overflow.

Despite it all, I wanted Ophelia back, more than anyone in this world, even if my heart ached for her brother instead. I engulfed her in a warm hug, attempting to pour love and guilt into it, all at once. We both cried until our tears soaked the hems of our shirts.

She was the best thing that could've happened to me. She was the one who was there for me through thick and thin, and I'm so grateful she took me back. Even though this might've left a tear in our friendship, I could always mend it back, just like how I piece my life together.

***

Not long after the crying fit we had in my bedroom, Ophelia and I were back to being best friends again,the mishap not preventing us from being the ridiculous people we are. My whole body relaxed and I was relieved to have another chance with her again. But this time I wouldn't fuck it up.

I sat in the library, waiting patiently for Ophelia to arrive so we could revise for our upcoming exam. One I was dreading. I hadn't exactly been the A-star student this year, the student who everyone was used to. And I had a person to blame for that, someone whose name shall not be mentioned.