Spilling Words. Broken Hearts.

|| to the friend ill always love ||

dear you,
I take comfort in knowing that this letter you will never find, and my words in this letter you will never be able to get. anyway. it was best that you don't know my thoughts, for it is nothing but a melancholy mess of heartache, desire, and a constant search for peace. you deserve the world, and perhaps I cannot be the world that deserves you. I can only do so much and in the time that we drifted apart, my mind drifted off to you. it's early in the morning when I write this, I might forget every single word that I had written here, and again, maybe that's for the better of things. you made me laugh and smile, and no one can make me laugh and smile the same way you did. you were, and still are special. my words are failing me when it comes to describing the relationship we had, because it was so beautiful, but now, I question whether we have one. we don't exchange a single word, we don't share a single glance, we don't share our words. and that hurts me. but I'll never admit that of course, as cliche as it sounds that is the truth and nothing but the truth. your presence was my favorite thing, but now it's gone, I fear finding the next best thing, because what would I say when you ask where my hands had been? it seems like an act of betrayal. and I could never do that to you. to the friend I'll always love, take care. i might not be the one in the front row to cheer you on in your math competitions and the other things you work tirelessly on, but I'll surely be one in the many stars to shine brighter for you that same night. I'll always be proud of you. no matter what.

love,
the girl stained with hope and dreams