𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞 ♥ 𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐦 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤

...

its scary being so reliant on people.

needing them to give me validation.

caring so much about what they think of me.

dissecting everything they say, trying to figure out if it is good or bad.

being paranoid about them leaving you.

them being distant and then you lose them.

Its so tiring constantly thinking about this.

when they will get mad.

how you will help them.

fix them.

but you can't fix people.

i want to help so badly, but i have my own shit, and they dont need me anymore.

maybe if i keep messaging them so they know im there?

maybe when they feel better they'll talk to me.

but they don't.

and they wont.

i lost them, i just cant get myself to accept that.