It's My Life • Shawn Hunter

35| Cyrano

Zoey sat at her desk while Mr. Turner was walking around the classroom, discussing about the book that they were reading for the week.

"Cyrano de Bergerac stands in the shadows whispering poetry to the lovely Roxanne, but she thinks it's the good-looking guy speaking to her. So our poor, big-nosed lug with the heart of the woman he loves, but he wins it for somebody else." Mr. Turner said to the class.

"That is so sweet and so noble, that he would sacrifice his own happiness to help his friend." Topanga said and Zoey nodded in agreement.

"Other opinions?" Mr. Turner wondered.

"Loser!" The boys in the classroom shouted.

"Okay, define 'loser'." Mr. Turner said.

"Big dip." Shawn explained.

Zoey turned to him in confusion. "What?"

"It makes no sense. I mean, he likes this girl and then he passes her on to another guy." Cory said.

"Dip... the biggest." Shawn stated.

"Zoey, can you refute the 'dip' theory?" Mr. Turner asked.

"Cyrano performs a totally selfless act and he does it for the sake of love." Zoey simply explained.

Topanga nodded in agreement. "That is so romantic."

"Why?" Shawn questioned, confused. "What does he get out of it? He knocks himself out spewing poetry, his friends get the girl... All he can do is go home and blow his big nose."

"Rebuttal from the estrogen section." Mr. Turner said to Topanga.

"Boys don't understand passion and romance, and will never understand women." Topanga said. She turned around to face both Shawn and Cory with a pointed look. "And that's why all of you will spend half your lives confused and the other half paying alimony."

"I agree with Topanga." Zoey said.

"This is interesting." Mr. Turner stated. "The women here find Cyrano compelling and romantic, and yet the men find him misguided and... dip like. What does this tell us?"

"Women like dips?" Cory guessed.

"Sorry, Matthews, no luck." Mr. Turner said. "It tells us that men have a hard time understanding what women find romantic."

"Will that be on the test?" Shawn wondered.

"Oh, yeah, in ways you can not yet imagine." Mr. Turner responded sarcastically.

••••

Next day in school, Cory, Shawn and Zoey were currently walking the halls, talking about how greasy Harley hair was.

"I'm telling you, the macaroni and cheese had more grease than Harley hair." Cory said.

"I think that's how they made it" Shawn stated.

"Yeah, they just turned him over and wrung him out." Zoey said which caused the three of them to laugh.

The three continued laughing but stopped when they saw Harley standing a couple of feet in from them, giving the three a death glare.

Shawn, Cory and Zoey pointed at Harley and gasped in shock.

"And I thought it was gonna be a slow day." Harley commented as he approached them.

Harley walked up to the three and slightly pushed Shawn back, causing him to stumble. The three nervously walked back while Harley kept walking forward.

"What? You thought we were talking about your hair?" Zoey said with a slight scoff, gulping nervously.

Cory shook his head. "No... no... Everybody knows your hair's not greasy."