invasato [h.s]

33

stream as it was

Elaina Basset

Mom, I really need to talk to you.

This is one of those moments where I could really use some advice and a hug from you right now. I don't know what to do.

I've always thought of myself as a good and loyal person. I thought that my loyalty was one of my best qualities, but there's one individual that has been making me question everything about myself.

It's like I don't even know who I am.

Am I a bad person?

You'd be honest with me, and that's why it hurts me so much that you're not with me right now. I miss you so much. More than usual.

It's been extra hard lately...

My penmanship comes to a halt when I hear the door being cracked open. I look up and immediately close up my notebook. In walks Harry, entering his bedroom in which he left 10 minutes ago.

He left because Zayn needed to talk to him quickly, and he told me to stay here but I ran downstairs briefly to grab my notebook, needing to clear my head.

"Were you writing?" he asks me.

I sit on his bed, still in my gown from the event.

"Yeah." I clear my throat. "Just clearing my thoughts."

He heads over to his duffel bag and my eyes follow his actions. I was so mesmerized...and so conflicted because of what just happened.

Just fifteen minutes ago, he told me to pleasure myself while he watched...

...and I obeyed him. I did it without hesitation...and that made me nervous after the fact.

He told me as I was bordering an orgasm that he hates Isaac. He hates him for cheating on me. For hurting me. And it only turned me on more.

So now, as I sit on Harry's bed, I question if I'm any better than Isaac. If I was, then the good part of me would have left this bed twenty minutes ago.

Harry takes out a grey shirt from his duffel bag and comes over to the bed where I'm sitting, handing me the article of clothing like he said he would after I did what I did.

I set the notebook down on the floor next to the bed as I get up, retrieving the shirt. I had to get out of this dress, even if that meant changing in to his shirt.

Sliding off the bed so my feet hit the hardwood, I walk over to the vanity so I can view myself in the mirror.

I meet eyes with Harry in the mirror briefly, making my stomach clench for a second before I snap my eyes away.

He has yet to mention the fact that he just watched me bring myself to an orgasm right in front of him.

A part of me hopes he doesn't...while the other part kind of hopes he does and I don't know why.

Everything is blurry and confusing, especially after the casino.

My head is still reeling from those events. What was supposed to be a stake out mission turned into uncovering a human trafficking ring. The thought grosses me out, the idea of nearly falling victim to it.

And Harry, he saved me. I'll admit it. I'm back at the penthouse alive and well only because he came and saved my ass.

"So," I begin as I pull the shirt over top of the strapless gown, covering the top half of my body. "what's going to happen now that Alec is dead?" I say as I unzip the dress under the shirt so it falls to my feet and I'm just in my underwear beneath the material. The shirt luckily fell under my butt so you couldn't tell.