invasato [h.s]

44: The Wedding

may i suggest listening to the night we met by lord huron for the first part of the chapter??? just a suggestion??? maybe???

Elaina Basset

I never really felt pretty as a young girl.

I thought my hair was too annoying of a color. I thought my teeth were weird. I hated my freckles and every single mole and mark on my body. I thought my eyes were too blue. I saw myself as nothing more than an awkward side character.

But, despite all of that, I always thought that one day I'd feel beautiful in my wedding gown.

I fantasized about my wedding as a child, marrying the love of my life while I felt the most beautiful I ever have. I didn't even really care about the venue, I just always knew it would be perfect either way with everyone I loved in attendance.

Now, being 20 years old and standing in front of a mirror in a wedding dress, I realize that my fantasies were too far fetched.

It's my wedding day.

In a little bit, I'll be walking down the aisle to marry Isaac. He arranged for his family to be here. I had no one to invite besides Angela and the Monarch gang.

My mom isn't going to see me in my gown. My dad won't walk me down the aisle. It's all his family and my friends.

This week has been chaotic. After the club situation, Isaac was freaked out by it all. I had to tell him that there was a big fight in the bar and we left before it could get to intense. I don't know if he believed it, but we haven't talked about it since.

The next few days revolved around wedding preparations. Angela and Bianca came with me to look at dresses, but I didn't feel pretty in any of them. I ended up going with a laced strapless gown that had a slit at my left leg and a train at the back. Angela, and even Bianca tried to make me feel better by telling me how good I looked, but it felt like nothing could fix my mood.

We had to figure out a venue. Zayn offered up the yard once he realized I was actually going through with this. I think he just wants to be supportive no matter what, but we came to the conclusion that having a bunch of new faces at the villa might do more harm than good.

So instead, Zayn rented out a luxury hotel...because I guess he has the money to do things like that. We had my bachelorette party at said hotel, and I've been staying here instead of the villa for two nights.

I asked Angela to be my maid of honor, to which she accepted right away. I needed her support, and I wanted her right next to me.

I ended up having a breakdown in her arms, crying about everything—but leaving out the part about Harry. She just let me bawl, stroking my hair while my head laid in her lap. It was at that moment that I realized I was at a burn out point.

Yesterday, I met up with Marjorie and Derek.

I came clean to them about Isaac and Harry. I told them that Harry wasn't my boyfriend, and instead I'm getting married to someone else.

I told Marjorie about this conflict in my heart I've been feeling. I told her about how Harry is the root of the conflict.

I knew that Marjorie wouldn't just tell me what I wanted to hear, she'd be honest. And so, she said that I need to follow my heart and make the decision that would keep me happy, not everyone else.

I can't believe I'm letting her down right now.

And despite all this, Derek offered to walk me down the aisle if I did choose to get married.