Stardom For Dummies

Lesson 3 - How to flee a scene of crime like a pro

Lesson 3

< How to flee a scene of crime like a pro >

It's like my legs go on autopilot. Contradicting science, my limbs work faster than my brain and as soon as I hear Liu Xuejun's voice, I yank my hand trapped by the ringleader and take off. Not before pulling Do Hyun with me.

With every step I take away, I feel Xuejun's voice getting closer in the background. Which should be close to impossible but my paranoid brain doesn't calm down. I can't face Xuejun yet. Not when he's a half superstar while I'm still busking on the roads. Not when I'm being manhandled by strangers who are wearing his fandom shirts. Not when I was the one who ran away only to come back as his audience.

Behind us, I hear the girls squeal and scream.

"Oh my god, it's Jun oppa and Chin Hae oppa!"

"Can you please sign this album?"

"Kya~ please do aegyo!"

As soon as I round the corner, I start running. Surprisingly, Do Hyun keeps his mouth shut as he sprints beside me and we get out of the studio in silence. It's only when we board the bus home does Do Hyun take my hand.

"Let me have a look." He sounds apologetic and borderline depressed looking at the red nail imprints on my skin so I pull my hand from his.

"It's nothing."

"I'm sorry, hyung."

Safe from the studio and Xuejun's vicinity, I finally breathe out the concoction of worry and some other unnameable feeling I had harboured in the time we spent at the studio. In hindsight, a sense of shame grips me as my mind plays back my immature ranting about Do Hyun and him forcing this situation on me. Do Hyun doesn't know. How can I expect him to read my discomfort and act accordingly when I can't even bring myself to share with him my past with Xuejun?

"It's really nothing," I say again and ruffle his hair when his frown doesn't disappear. "You know how I get with crowds, right?"

He doesn't reply but he doesn't push it any further either so leaning back on the seat, we wallow in our own thoughts. The ride from Mapo is quite long and soon, I feel a soft thud to my shoulder. Do Hyun's mouth is slack from sleep and I chuckle, sticking a finger under his chin and lifting it. With nothing better to do, I take out my phone to browse the internet but old habits die hard and without realising, I open the contacts menu.

It isn't like Xuejun was the worst friend ever. He was amazing. If anything, I was kind of the rotten egg.

My fingers move in a practised rhythm and with a few swipes, Xuejun's call-log is open. Coffeeeee, the name reads and underneath, there are thirty six unattended calls from him. Everything dated back to the twelfth of March. I don't remember the last thing we said. Did I ask what was for dinner? Did I call him for a raid in the dungeon? Was it a good morning or a good night? I don't remember. But I still hear the static of the voicemail, every breath of his as I waited for him to speak. He never did and the voicemail ended without any words. Two years is a long time. Enough to even forget an ex.

But here I am, the kind of loser who holds on to an old friend.

+++

Back home, both Do Hyun and I get hell for just disappearing without a word on a Friday night. Especially when it is a busking evening tomorrow.

"Hyung, I get it," I say. "You're disappointed; I should start using my phone to actually call and inform people; and I should stop indulging Do Hyun." I stick out a finger for each observation until three fingers stand up mighty and proud.