7:27 PM July 10, 2022 SUN
I confessed.
It was the first ever time where I told him what I feel.
I start it by calling him by his first name which I've never done when having an internet conversation with him before. God knows how fast my heart beats that moment. The thought of confessing and clearing things up between us makes me braver that night.
Then after a few talks, I feel like it's time.
I type the words that came out of my mind in that very moment. I don't plan anything that I've said because I want it to be all natural.
I asked him if are we're just for friends.
The word "yes" doesn't hurt me that much at all, I already expected it.
Happiness filled me that day, maybe because things are all now cleared to me. I won't say I don't feel sad or anything, because of course I've felt that but as I've said, the feeling of being cleared with things that's always bothering you is very fulfilling so maybe that's why I'm more grateful and happy than being hurt or sad.
Though I didn't tell him much about my feelings in that message, I think it's enough because even if I told him everything, you can't deny the fact that he'll be cringed about it, same for me.
Me expressing so much emotions sound so fucking cringe, ALWAYS.
Still...
Can't deny how I wish he said "no" instead of "yes"
But...
I don't regret a thing that I've done that day, for sure.
Que sera sera
