1:34 AM August 26, 2022 FRI
We met.
After almost 3 long years.
I didn't hide, I chose not to. I hated myself for wanting to see you, I'm looking for you and got excited that we'll meet again. It's the same feeling, seeing you is enough even without communication.
We're in the same building, for fuck's sake! Well ngl I kinda favor it. I kept telling my self we're just friends but I don't know anymore, I know it's just me.
Yesterday, I used my time preparing what to wear, finding something that'll look good. I'm never this kind of girl. I used to be'bahala na' . I'm super nervous when I arrived at the school entrance, not because there's so many people there or smth but I really got nervous seeing you, again, after a very long time (it may be not 'very' long for others but for me, it is).
I got disappointed that I haven't seen you before the class starts. Still I know it wont be long, even though we're not in the same strand or room, we're in the same building and batch.
I literally forget about you when the instructor enter the room, it feels nostalgic, studying with other peeps with your age and a professor in front.
That time was recess, since we're in 4th floor and my best friend's in 3rd floor and you're in 2nd floor together with my close friends, we met, that single eye to eye, even in a matter of 1 second, I felt something. There's still something. I hate to admit but I wish that it's not just a 1 second. I feel betrayed allowing myself to think and write this after saying that it's over, we're just friends. I feel guilt that I may hurt someone's feeling. All that I've been feeling this time was nothing to that stare, even your stare's shouting that you just see me as a friend. Well it does hurt but not that much since it's been months since I accepted that fact, still can't blame me to feel this way though.
I pretend I didn't notice or see you, just like you did. I guess we successfully ignored each other. It's better this way, it really is. Thank you for neglecting my presence. It was very helpful, for my self love.
Ps:
I'm not being sarcastic here, it's all genuine that I came to the point that I can't sleep not letting this all out of me.
Pps:
I'm shocked that there's a draft chapter before this after almost 3 years chapter. It's edited on July 24, 2022 09:06 PM. I'll publish this first before that because it wasn't finish yet and I don't think the sequence will be accurate if I publish that first so yeah (nag paliwanag hahaha)
