I think this is the very last message and sadly he won't get to read this for sure. But still, I have to say this because I want to let it all out. I guess it's part of moving on, and in order for that to happen I need to make this.
to: r.
I may not remember the day we started talking but I thank God he let us meet. The first day of class in grade 8 sy: 2019-2020 I get this strange feeling about you, I feel butterflies in my stomach just hearing your voice and looking at you laughing at the back. It was never my intention to fall deeper that's why I immediately change my mind and kept my heart away, to be safe. I distracted myself but fate really has it's way. After I got my heart a little broken after having some personal issues about my ka-talking stage, I started to feel you, again.
I have this cringe trait that I don't confess, so instead I'll make you confess no matter what. Well I do have a very high pride that's bigger than me. It took weeks until you confessed but I'm still glad knowing we have the same feelings. I never vocally told you I have feelings too, I just showed them, did you feel it? haha I wish.
Well not gonna lie, I enjoyed that part where they're teasing us in school. You have no fucking idea... You make that school year best for me! It felt like I've been into wattpad world, the scenes, the lines, all of them.
You slowed down a life that was moving too quickly, giving me a new outlook on things. It's all perfect as it is, that's why a tragedy needs to happen. I guess this is the disadvantage of no label relationship, since we're both afraid of commitments there are basically no rules for actions. You can't own the person, but I want to do it with you, I want to reserve you, us, so when the time comes, when we're able to achieve our own dreams, when we're both financially stable without parental support, we can have us.
Sadly, it's too much risk. We can't guarantee that while achieving our dreams there's no one can separate us, that's why before, I want us to achieve things together, grow together. But seeing how things are right now...I guess it's now impossible.
Still you were the best thing that ever happen in my life. I see how you've change, for the better, you no longer needs me so I have to say my farewells because I'm afraid that if I don't say goodbye now, I never will.
I want to thank you for the last time for bringing so much happiness and fun to my life, and showing me how to love myself again. I will miss our chikahan, your smooth banats before when we still have mutual understanding and specially those small things you've done, but I genuinely understand that you are where you need to be right now and that's what important really matters. Acads before commitments right?
Go fly up in the sky higher and don't let anyone stop you from it. Your worth is more than you think it is. You're brave, smart, kind, and specially my bestest friend!! Thanks for being my rant bud for a while.
I hope things work out for you.
Your memories will keep me alive, for sure. I loved you.
from: c.
