~Beneath The Surface~

Passage 1 ~ intro

My blood boils in my veins, and my heart thumps like a drum in my chest. As my fingers wrap themselves around the cold metal, they shake violently. I instinctively raise my hand in defence. My eyesight becomes fuzzy as tears run quickly from my eyes. Every passing second seemed to last an eternity.

I stare at her with abnormally wide yet calm eyes, seeking yet failing to detect any flaws. The fog tried to cover her beauty, but her strength overcomes them. She's nothing like the sun, but she shines as bright as the day ahead. It's mesmerising how her shining aura illuminates her surroundings. The way she appears to be both transparent and cryptic, to be both revealing and perplexing, to be imposing as well as friendly. She fascinates me so much that no matter how hard I try, I can't take my gaze away from her. I've been trying to figure her out for hours now, but it's all in vain. All these questions in my head only prove how little I know about her, but I'm curious to know if she ever heard me cry myself to sleep at night or even loved me in the first place. I wonder if she remembers my story...well let me tell you. Let me tell you somethings that I told the moon.

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Unlike other stories, this one begins when a life has come to an end. It begins and concludes in hushed tones. A heartbeat's rhythm is similar to that of a corpse. A rotting corpse that is still alive. It begins and ends in the same way. There is no way to recognise this motionless heartbeat once the DNA has been destroyed. It required a wish and the desire to be at the top to end it all. Greed, power, and envy. He was well aware that his desire for independence was lethal.

Nothing compared to his desire to rule an army of his own. But he never stopped to ask himself, "Was it worth it?" For a brief moment of royalty, he sacrificed all. He couldn't articulate the feeling he got when he saw fear in other people's eyes. A emotion that is both scary and fulfilling. He couldn't stop himself; the crimson on his hands made it harder to restrain himself; his desire grew stronger and stronger until he couldn't discern what was wrong and what was right.

He wasn't always like this, though. There was a time period in his life where he used to constantly give his utmost in everything and for everyone. A time where he put others ahead of himself. A time when the terms 'family' and 'love' meant something to him. He was polite and trustworthy, and he always did the right thing. People would always slam him for it, and he would never respond.

He was close to the man he once referred to as his father, but not as close he was to his mother. His entire world revolved around her. His mother was the one person who always made him want to be his best self, and unlike his father, she never gave up on him. He always gave it his all, but his father made him feel insignificant. But there was another boy, Caleb, his so-called brother who was a few years younger than him. Caleb was never his favourite. Caleb was their father's favourite, so that had to be why his appearance never pleased him. Caleb didn't have to try, and their father would always compliment him, claiming he was the better son despite the fact that he held on a event that their dad tried so hard to bury. Caleb always lived up to his father's expectations. And it hurt his older brother. As much as he tried to hide it or suppress it, it always got the best of him. However he never showed it, instead he used that energy to try harder, to be better. And once again it seemed like it wasn't enough for him or anyone else.

Slowly, it destroyed him on the inside. Every night, he'd cry himself to sleep, wondering what he'd done wrong. Wondering if he'll ever be worthy of his father's love and affection, just like Caleb. Then, gradually, this sadness turned into hatred. Hatred towards Caleb. What does Caleb have that he lacks? He's so flawless that he doesn't even try. Hatred towards his mother for not protecting him from his father's yelling and even beatings. She acted as if she couldn't see or hear his cries for help. He'd even called out for Caleb, but he never showed up.

He despised his father, not because of how he treated him, or because he preferred Caleb over him. He despised his father not for the bruises and scars he inflicted on him, but for the way he made him feel about himself. He despised the way his father made him feel useless and unlovable while pretending to love his wife and children. He despised the way people fell for it. They'd fail to notice this merged life of his. He despised the way he treated his mother. He could see that his parents' marriage was on the verge of dispersion, but she would always find a reason to stay, even after he cheated on her.

He despised how he exploited his mother's naivety and affection for him in order to keep her with him solely for the sake of his reputation. His father used their son to keep her under his control, convincing her that he could change and be redeemed.

Last but not least, the person he hated most was himself. He despised himself in his current state. A weak, pathetic, and stupid little boy. He could never defend himself or stand up to his bullies. He could never be able to shield his mother from his father's rage. He'd never been able to match his brother's achievements. He was terrible at everything. He detested himself and everyone else. Above all, he loathed who he had become. He morphed into everything he strove to avoid, the one person he promised himself he'd never be.

He became his father but more evil. A monster. A psycho. No sanity. He has no compassion. He has no regrets. No remorse. There is no morality left in him. This is the story of a boy who has far too many scars on his body. A boy with a twisted mind whose innocence has been taken away from him. A boy who finally flicked the switch, turning off all of his emotions. Song Jun-wu was his name. Those who were unaware of his past would recognise him as Gabriel Lorenzo. Welcome to the mind of a killer.

But first...
Let me introduce you to a girl named Amelia

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A/N
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