𝐓𝐄𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐒 |𝟏𝟖+ (#𝟏)

𝙵𝙾𝚁𝚃𝚈 |

40|
AMBER JACKSON
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The room was the perfect temperature.

Warm, cozy, and calming.

Since this office had moved to a space in a building with floor-to-ceiling glass windows the sun streamed through the window, casting a soft yellow light across the room. The aesthetic was cozy whites, tans, and browns with sprinkles of greenery throughout.

Everything felt still and peaceful.

My feet were stretched out on the brown velvet L-shaped couch that sat in the middle of the room covered by a white fluffy blanket. My cell phone and journal sat on the marble white center table just in front of me, a cup of peppermint tea in my hands. There was a tall potted paradise palm tree plant whose leaves swiped across the exposed skin of my shoulder not covered by my cardigan.

Dr. McKenzie sat opposite me on a white swivel chair her gaze on mine waiting for my answer. She asked this question every session and it's not that I didn't have an answer, I just didn't want to think about it.

"Amber, are you still with me?"

"Yes."

"Are you going to answer, or should we move on?"

Dr. McKenzie has been my therapist since high school and so her familiar scent of Ms. Dior brings me a bit of comfort. She knows my history; she knows my present. Well, she knows some of my present, the bits I can tell her. I couldn't tell her explicitly that I was kidnapped, neither did I tell her my boyfriend was the head of the Cosa Nostra.

Was Alessandro even my boyfriend?

Another question to answer at another time.

Though she didn't know these things, she knew the details of my rape and beating. She knows the details of my loss. In fact, I could proudly say that being kidnapped didn't bother me as much as the fact that I had to see Tyler Whitcomb again.

That was brutal.

"I am jealous. I'm trying not to be but..." My tears well up in my eyes again, and with one blink they start a trail down my cheek.

I felt guilty.

"I don't want to be jealous. I'm supposed to be happy for her."

My hand reaches to my left, picking a few Kleenex tissues from the box, and start dabbing my eyes. Thank God I didn't wear much makeup today.

I take a ragged breath; then silence ensues and I'm back in my head again.

Why can't I just get over it? I want to get over it.

Her voice is steady but soft as she speaks to me, "You distanced yourself from her; that was the choice you made. It's not a satisfactory feeling?"

"No. It makes me feel more guilty."

"So now you have to speak to her." Her words are said in a melodic kind of way she used on me before. It was her nice way of telling me I made the wrong choice from the start, something I already knew myself. I was looking for an easy way out. I slightly crack a smile.

"I don't know what to say to her."

She knows about Jade; she even met her a few years back when I brought her with me for a session Dr. McKenzie set up as a way to see my support system outside of therapy. This time she met Josephina and Gennaro since I was staying with them – Alessandro's choice. He wanted me close enough to him but far enough that I had my space.

By far enough, I mean a five-minute walk.

Green eyes peer back at me, framed by her natural ginger-red hair, bold red lips, and light makeup that barely covers her freckles. Dr. McKenzie was a beautiful woman, with an inviting aura and stunning personality. This woman was one of my saving graces.