Cake pop smashed

Chapter 5: Bad Dreams

I awoke in a cold sweat. I could not believe that I had a dream like that, especially after that shitty, senseless fight. The dream felt so real, like he was really standing a few feet away. A few days ago I could have never imagined having a dream like that. It felt so weird thinking about Dane in my bedroom. Dane is not the type of person to just talk in your bedroom and I do not know exactly how I feel about that.

After much thinking, I figured that I should do something to Dane to show him that I was ready to forgive him. I still could not believe what a stupid fight that was. It was so dumb and over nothing but a dumb comment. If I had just ignored it I would not have had the awful dream-nightmare rather.

Since it was the middle of the night, I was not thinking as rationally as I could be, so maybe I just needed to get a good rest. I hoped that school would go well, but I never talk to Dane at school anyway. As I drifted off to sleep for the second time, I wished even more that silly fight never happened,

***

When I woke up to my alarm at 6 o'clock, I wished I had been able to sleep through the night. I kept waking up, worried about the stupid fight I had with Dane. Someday I hope we can laugh about this, but right now it is no laughing matter.

I got up out of my bed and got ready for school. After taking a nice hot shower, I made sure to put on a little more makeup than usual, just in case any hot boys glanced my way. Also, I just like putting on makeup, I do it for myself of course. I put my hair in a messy bun, and got dressed.

As I got dressed I hoped that I did not have to see Dane too much at school. Our lockers are down the hall from each other, and we do not have any classes together so that should be easy enough. I finally brushed out my messy hair and let it down loose. I put in some hoop earrings and a few simple necklaces. I was feeling good and ready for the day.

For breakfast I had toast with peanut butter, which hits different when you are trying to have a hot girl vibe. I ignored the rest of my family because I was too busy working on my fabulous self to worry about them. Just kidding, I love them a lot, even though they drive me insane all the time. 

***

I was so glad that I got through the day without seeing Dane at all at school. Arriving back at home-having the house to myself of course. I love being home alone, but the thought of Dane being able to come over whenever he wants makes me uncomfy. I hate Dane so much right now. He's such a bad person and I don't even know why I ever liked him. Ok, well I know why I liked him- he's really hot. Why do the hot one's have to be the worst?!

I thought about Tansy's boyfriend, Chad. He is even worse than Dane, mostly because he is the quarterback of the football team, and who ever heard of a decently behaved quarterback? Tansy only is staying with him because she is captain of the cheer squad, and as she likes to say "gotta make people think you are cooler than you are". It is a stereotype to think that the captain of the cheer squad would date the quarterback and Tansy loves standing with stereotypes.

Tansy is very popular, but she would never leave Gwen and me. She loves us, as we have all been friends since elementary school. We are all sure that Chad has cheated on Tansy many times, but she always laughs it off. Sure there are always plenty of rumors about how Chad cheated with Jessica or Lexi, but you never know what is true or not.

If I dated Dane, I am sure he would not cheat on me. I know he wants me, I just cannot seem to grasp that. We had fun when we were younger, but I do not know if we can go back to how we used to be. Heck, I have not even had a decent conversation with Dane in years. Dane is too focused on other things to be worried with words. I am sure there are other girls who like Dane, I mean he is very attractive, but I am not sure if he would go for them, now that I know how he feels about me.

There are so many ways that being with Dane is a bad idea. His family is a main problem, but there are so many other things. The fact that I had that nightmarish dream last night about Dane, especially doing stuff like that. I want to block that from my memory forever.

I am not sure what to do now but I should just take a nap and think about everything. Life is so hard sometimes and it's not like something I can talk to with my friends, and definitely not my family. They just would not understand at all about Dane or school stuff. I could talk to my brother, but he is little and would not care at all. He would just tease me and maybe tell our father, so that would be a very bad idea to talk to him about it.

If I talk to Abuelita Rosa about anything going on in my life, all of her old lady friends would know all about it, word by word, the next day. Those old lady's really, really love their gossip, I am not kidding. So I definitely cannot talk to her about it. I guess I will just have to keep it to myself for now. Hopefully nothing too interesting happens at school tomorrow, because I cannot deal with that right now.