I'm Tired - BakuDeku (Cole) 💧

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I never would have thought that I'd lose you

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I never would have thought that I'd lose you. I let you slip right through my fingers and I'll regret that for the rest of my days on this god-forsaken earth. Being away from you for months on end, my impulsive words, and my idiot actions. That's what led you to leave me.

"Bakugo, I'd go through the trouble of responding to your text, but it doesn't matter. I think that this is over completely. You won't change, and I won't go through the trouble of begging for you to do so." Those were the last words Izuku said to me.

And of course, I was too drunk to even chase after you from miles away, so my response said it all "I knew it was coming. Thanks for the wasted time I guess."

Every night I lie awake thinking of what I could have done to prevent this. I thought he would have been used to my angry personality, but he wasn't. Sometimes I'll text him, and get no response. He's better off without me I suppose.

____

I truly do believe in the "right person wrong time" phenomenon. I truly hope it's the same for us. But I see you on social media, living your best life, meeting the goal that you've wanted since you were a child. I wish I could just talk to you every time I do something for myself. I wish I could have been there to congratulate you on finally becoming the #1 hero, but I know that you need time without me and that's okay.

That's what I tell myself. In reality, I'm using anything and everything to keep you out of my head, I get drunk every single night and end up crying to random strangers in bars about how I miss you. I treated you like shit, but I don't tell them that. Part of it is to just boost my already inflated ego, but the remaining parts are the ones I don't want to bring up.

Izuku Midorya was and still is my world. I always see you in my dreams, then I wake up crying. I still hold on to the pipe dream that I'll be back in Japan in just a short time, but as time goes on, I remember less and less of you. Your bubbly personality is engraved in my memory as enraged, telling me to get my shit together. "YOU NEED TO FUCKING CHANGE KATSUKI." you yelled with tears in your eyes. I was so fucking out of it that I didn't recognize you needed me to be your partner and not just some idiot you'll forget about in six months' time.

I'm tired. I'm so fucking tired of seeing you like this. I just wish I could hold you one last time, I wish you'd tell me that everything was going to be alright. I wish I could hear your voice again.

This is goodbye.

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