Fragmented Shift

15

Shōgai opened his eyes, tears filling them immediately as he accidentally made eye contact with the man in front of him. His shoulders curling forwards and shaking as his right hand scratched at his left wrist, a gentle rocking motion -forwards and back, forwards and back- soothed him enough that he didn't start bawling. Where was he? The room was unfamiliar which made a shiver race up his spine. He didn't have the best memories associated with unfamiliar rooms, they always bring pain-hurt-don'tscream-beagoodboy.

"Midoriya?" The man's voice was deep and soft, hesitant but Shōgai shook his head violently, curls flicking back and forth. He knew this trick, he did! He wasn't supposed to talk bequiet-nosound-don'tscream. They always tried to trick him into talking but he never did, he was good, he was- he followed the rules! His rocking became more violent, fingernails drawing raised welts as the pressure increased, green eyes locked onto his hands.

*I can be a good boy, I can, I don't deserve to speak, don't deserve to cry, it's my fault, my fault!*

"Kid?" Shōgai flinched, when had the man moved? He was crouched in front of him now, that was dangerous, he should always know where they are and this one was too close! He scrambled back on the sofa, curling into a ball, knees pressed tightly to his chest as a whimper left his throat.
"I'm sorry, sorry, sorry sorry sorry sorry!" His scratching was interrupted by two gentle hands wrapping around his wrists.

*Soft,* Shōgai stared at the contact in amazement, *When was the last time someone touched me so gently?* he didn't know.

"Hey, hey it's ok, you're safe." The man's face was open, not twisted in hate, annoyance, pleasure and it was so different that he couldn't help but stare again even though he knew it was rude and broke the rules. Maybe it would be ok to talk to the man? Just the man, he hadn't gotten angry when Shōgai had lost his temper at the small boy, he hadn't hit-snarled-laughed. 

"Sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for Midoriya." Shōgai shook his head again, tears sliding down his pale cheeks.
"No, no, not Midoriya, I'm not."
*Midoriya is the good part, I'm not him, I deserve what happens, I'm worthless.*
Frowning, Aizawa tried to make sense of the broken speech, thumb sliding back and forth soothingly against the boy's pulse and over raised welts. 
"Izuku then?" The boy shook his head again, tugging weakly against his grip. "If you aren't Midoriya, or Izuku, then who are you?"

*Who am I? No one's ever asked before, they just taketaketake. He's nice, like Yoi.* 

Should he tell him his name? He knew the rules, knew that he would be breaking them but in this unfamiliar room, with this strangely comforting man, he felt safe. He'd never felt safe before, especially around men...Izuku and Yoi trusted him, Shōgai felt that much from their shared mindspace but should he? The last person he'd trusted-

"You deserve this, you know that right?"

Hands roamed his bruised face, sliding down his neck to glide across his bare chest, his mother leant over him, her hair brushing past his face as she whispered in his ear,
"Be a good boy for mummy now, show me how much you love me." 

The hands roamed lower even as Shōgai tried to disappear into the mattress at his back. His body shook, whatever she had given him made him unable to move but his mind was as sharp as ever, horror filling him as her hands reached their goal-

Blinking the memories away, Shōgai focused back on the room with the kind man, ignorant of the fresh tears falling as he worked his throat, pushing a single word that wasn't an apology or denial past the lump that was always there.

*

Shouta hesitated as he watched his new student rock and cry, eyes distant in a way that told him Midoriya wasn't quite all there at the moment. The boy's reactions made a memory tickle the back of his mind, sending a tendril of dread through him. 

"Shōgai." The name was just the barest of whispers but it sent a lance of pain through the man's chest nonetheless. He'd hoped it wasn't what he thought it was, what it clearly was. He'd never seen an actual case of it before, the condition was rare, though much more common in Heroes than civilians. 

It was most commonly seen in people who had been abused. A young child has an extremely malleable mind, they have to, to learn at such a fast rate but with enough stress even their minds can crumble under the pressure. The child is young, they don't understand what is going on, why someone they love is hurting them and, in order to protect itself from that situation, the mind creates someone who is capable of dealing with it, a person with their own thoughts, feelings and wants. 
The child continues with their life unaware of the abuse, those memories are locked away, now belonging to the person who shares their mind.

After the first break, the first creation, the mind is stuck in protection mode, wanting to preserve the innocence of the 'host', or the core personality. It is much easier for the mind to break over and over again. 

Seeing the proof in front of him broke Aizawa's heart. No child should go through what this small boy had, he didn't even have to know what it was that had forced this child's mind to such extreme measures, the evidence was plain to see in fear filled green eyes; the litany of apologies spilling from trembling lips like forbidden prayers. Midoriya's life must have been hell, because with this condition came blackouts, confusion, headaches, memory loss, unexplained injuries and not to mention the trouble he could get in if he became aware in a less than ideal situation.

'He fought through all of that and he still wants to be a hero.' 
He really did admire the strength this small boy had inside of him. D.I.D - Dissasociative Identity Disorder, was a life-long...illness? He didn't want to call it that, the boy wasn't sick, but the course he'd taken had been so long ago that he couldn't remember much at all. Shouta made a mental note to talk to Inui later for advice, he needed to know everything to help Midoriya achieve his (their?) dream.

"It's ok Shōgai, you are safe here, I won't hurt you." If it wasn't for his perpetual dry eye he was sure the look of disbelief and confusion in those expressive (familiar) green eyes, his own might've misted up. 

̶H̶e̶ ̶k̶n̶e̶w̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶b̶o̶y̶,̶ ̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶m̶i̶n̶d̶ ̶f̶l̶a̶s̶h̶e̶d̶ ̶b̶a̶c̶k̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶a̶ ̶d̶a̶r̶k̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶e̶y̶,̶ ̶a̶ ̶m̶u̶f̶f̶l̶e̶d̶ ̶c̶r̶y̶ ̶d̶r̶a̶w̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶a̶t̶t̶e̶n̶t̶i̶o̶n̶.̶ 

"My name is Aizawa Shouta, I work here at UA, that's where you are now, and I'm the underground hero Eraserhead. No one will hurt you here."