𝘾𝙃𝙍𝙄𝙎𝙏'𝙎 𝙅𝙊𝙐𝙍𝙉𝘼𝙇 ━ 𝖈𝖍𝖗𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖎𝖆𝖓𝖎𝖙𝖞.

CHAPTER 1 - FORGIVENESS

How to Forgive?

Who's never been in pain? Who's never been in a void of sadness? Disappointment? Being used? Being lied to? Being with people who don't know how to appreciate us–especially those who are close to us. The closer they are, the more hurt it is.

If we were being hurt by someone, and we're disappointed, annoyed, it's humane to do so. Very humane. If there was someone who asked you to "forget" about it, how could you? We humans have memories. If we could've taken the memory off of our minds like the memory in our phones, everything would be easy to forget about.

Forgiveness is a choice.

But.

To release all bitter feelings, to release forgiveness, to release feelings of pain, needs time. Especially in forgetting what they had done. So, forgiveness is a choice, but for a mind and heart to really be clean, no more annoyed feeling, no more hurt feeling, not really remembering things again, it needs time.

Everyone is different, that way their way to forgiveness are all different. There are some who put themselves into the point of view of people who made them hurt. How did the perpetrator end up like this, how could they be so annoying, how could they do this? In the end, they would feel guilty for the perpetrator, and they would end up forgiving the perpetrator.

You can take it as a tip, but perhaps if it doesn't work for you, it's alright, there are many ways on how to end up releasing forgiveness to the perpetrators at the end of the day.

Say, say there is A. A right here, had betrayed you, let's say, you had a best friend named A. A and you were in college, and for the final project/final paper, A had copied your project and the teachers had accused you to be the copycat.

The right thing to do is to come into prayer, and tell God that you forgive them. Does it hurt? Heck yeah. Now take this as an example. Someone is hurt, they have a wound on their hand, let's just say that, the nurse would clean it off from the dust. The nurse would swipe the wound harshly to get off the dirt/dust from the wound. It hurts, that's for the first time when we're wounded by someone.

What does the nurse do next? They would give you antiseptic medicine. Oh, the stinging pain was unbearable for sure. When we make the decision. "God, I want to forgive." That's the first pain.

Why? Because it's so heavy. It feels so heavy. Perhaps when we prayed to the Lord in a realistic way it would've gone like, "God, please, I do not ask for something too cruel to want to happen, but please, give them a small pinch. Perhaps make them fall off the pool or maybe when they're sleeping, their houses fall off."

When we say as our first decision, "I want to forgive them," it's only in the mouth, but it's heavy. Itt feels so heavy to say that, but that is a big step. It's the time where the nurse gives your wound a drop of the antiseptic. It still stings. You remember that person who did wrong to you, you feel hurt, it stings again. You give the antiseptic again. What is the antiseptic? "God, I don't want to think about them again, I would get even more annoyed. I want to forgive. I want to forgive. I want to bless them." When we say that, we're giving our wounds an antiseptic.

Remember again, stings again. "God, I don't want to think about them anymore. I want to bless them, I want to forgive them," you give your wounds another round of antiseptic.

Same like a wound. It takes time. The deeper the wound is, the more time you need to heal, but if you continue to pour the antiseptic on your wounds regularly. In the end, your wounds wouldn't sting any more. The mark it left? It's still there. Maybe, it's still there, because you remember about that one moment in your life.

Don't feel guilty, because it's normal, the process is like a wound, it takes time to heal. When it's dry, and there is a mark, but you will be able to just say thousands of times about the story of your experience with no hard feelings. We have to reach that level. Don't be too long though, the longer it takes, the more stinging you feel. 

sources:
from an indonesian evangelist, ruth julia,