So Wishes Must Cry

Neurological Conditions

In 2021 i was diagnosed with epilepsy and Tourette syndrome.
Both debilitating conditions except that epilepsy really got the best of us. We were having daily grand mal epilepsy and could not do anything by ourselves at some point it was so strong that we started falling unconscious. Luckily it was during lockdown so my mom and sister gave us the care that we needed it was a very difficult time and no one was prepared for it not even the system during that time it was so traumatic that no one wanted to front so Vee (the host at that time) was stuck fronting for a whole month the brain had created over 20 alters and fragments during over that period of time.

Our Tourette's developed at a very late stage since we were already 18 by then usually it develops during childhood. It started out pretty funny whereby i was shouting and punching the table and also doing funny sounds with my mouth like farting and all. But it quickly escalated and i started to have tic attacks for example sometimes we couldn't stop shouting so bad that our neighbour thought that we were being attacked by burglars. There are various types of tics mainly coprolalia the swearing tic, copropraxia the obscene gestures tic, palilalia the stammering tic, echolalia the repetition of others words, the skepsi types that happen in the head and motor tics (we switched again I'm lucas).

Although we have tons of tics the most eye catching ones are the swearing tics for some reason people think that we can control them but of course they're just like any type of tic and a tic is an involuntary word or movement which therefore contradicts the whole point of having coprolalia which is super annoying because if i could control my tics i wouldn't tic at all duh i wish you guys see me eye roll so hard right now.

As a result of the trauma that we went through with epilepsy and Tourette syndrome we also developed a coping mechanism called maladaptive daydreaming which basically describes a condition where a person regularly experiences daydreams that are intense and highly distracting- so distracting, in fact, that the person may stop engaging with the task or people in front of them. Some people daydream because they want to we daydream randomly which is why it's so annoying to be unable to get out of that state and most of the time we're in daydreams where we're quarreling with family members or people we know but sometimes it's really fun to daydream as Ash is an involuntary age regressor, he daydreams about his two caregivers and his boyfriend who's also a little it's actually a cute daydream but it feels very lonely since in this reality we have no one to look after us the way Ash would want to.

Epilepsy and Tourette's aren't the end of it we've also been experiencing some symptoms of FND-functional neurological disorder which causes us to become paralysed partly or fully, our limbs also lock and personally we experience speech loss, memory loss, partial deafness, dystonia, fainting, head drops and drop attacks.
But of course once again since we're nothing but a patient we're treated like sh*t and our opinions don't count at all but i really hope that when we visit our neurologist this month she'll believe us and give us this diagnosis or maybe conversion disorder.