Pleasure BOOK 2: VICTORIA ✓

Chapter 26

VICTORIA'S POV

   Pinatay ko ang tawag pagkatapos ay tumitig sa Mommy ko na nasa kaniyang kama. Nang masiguro kong hindi siya nagising ng boses ko ay inihagis ko ang phone sa kabilang kama. Parang hindi ko yata kayang pakawalan si Simoun. Hindi talaga. Gusto ko siyang pagmukhaing tanga lalo na sa ginawa niya sa akin pero hindi ko yata kaya.

     And I knew without a shadow of a doubt that it was because I loved him.

Because I enjoyed him.

Because I had accepted him fully and completely, despite his faults.

But I also knew I couldn’t keep doing this back and forth with him. It made me physically sick. The tug-of- war game we had going on was leaving behind scars and blisters I hadn’t experienced since the betrayal of my father. 

    And I didn’t want to be around him long enough for him to turn into my father.

    That meant I had to take full advantage of tonight. I had to lay it all out on the line for him. I had to be honest about my feelings for him, and then I had to look Simoun in the eye and let him know that if he wasn’t reallly serious about me, then he needed to tell me so I could let him go.

    So I could move on with my life. So I could stop wondering about what might have happened had I simply been honest, or more forthcoming, or any of the other asinine questions that had floated around in my head for the past two months. 

      My eyes rose to my mother’s face, and I watched her sleep. Every time I looked at her, the conversation with Simoun came flooding back. What he had offered me was more than I could have ever imagined. It was the perfect place for my mother, and he’d paid for the first year upfront. When he first told me, I had reacted because of my gut feeling. Because of my prior experience with this kind of thing. But lumping him into the same category as my father wasn’t fair to Simoun.

   Lalo na nang ilang beses niyang patunayan na hindi siya gaya ni Daddy.

     My mother did deserve the best, and I wasn’t capable of giving it to her. Not without escorting. And if Simoun wanted to pay for it, I needed to accept it. I wasn’t in a position to negotiate, and my mother needed that facility. Hell, she already had a move-in date. I had essentially turned down the best situation for my mother mentally and physically because of my own pride.

 That was something my father would have done. 

     I cringed at the thought. What if I was becoming like my father? Selfish and pompous? Growing too big for my own shoes? I raked my hands through my hair and drew in a long, deep breath. I had to remove the emotion from the situation. I had to think about it logically. If Simoun was serious about me and he offered to help my mother again, I would accept it. It would be my physical gesture of the trust I put in him. And if he wasn’t serious about me, then I’d bring it up. I could get myself on some sort of repayment plan back to him, then call Matilda and tell her I was officially open for business again.

 Either way, my mother won, and it got her out of his damn hotel room. 

     I reached for my phone and opened up a text message. I asked my mother’s nurse if she was available to come stay with her for dinner and pos- sibly stay overnight with her again. And the response I got back was almost immediate. Of course she was available. The money I was paying her to stay fluid with me was enough to make anyone available.

 I knew how that felt personally and professionally.

    An hour later, there was a knock at the hotel room door. I opened it up and saw the nurse standing there with a kind smile on her face. But quickly, her smile fell. She rushed past me as my eyes widened, and I watched her wrangle my mother as she charged for the door.