Chapter 5.
Lena was still asleep. The early morning sunlight filtered through the blinds, lighting up her lovely face. Stef might have laid there for a while, just admiring her, but she awoke tense and stressed, in a hurry to start the day. It seemed like she had woken up twenty times during the night, each time with a new worry.
She crawled out of bed, leaving her wife sleeping, and went to her closet. Her uniforms hung neatly inside. She removed one, and began undressing.
As she changed into her work clothes, she tried to restrain herself from looking at her chest. But the pull became too much, and she quickly glanced down, then looked away, squeezing her eyes shut. "Lena," she gasped.
Lena yawned and rolled over, then sat up when she saw the panicked look on her wife's face. "Stef? Honey, what's wrong?"
"Look at my nipple," she breathed, her heart pounding in her ears.
Lena got out of bed and went to her. She touched her hand to her mouth when she saw it; Stef's nipple looked as if it had been sucked in from the inside. Lena carefully touched a finger to it, pressing the skin around it to see if it would pop back out. "Does it hurt?"
She shook her head. "No."
"Was it like that yesterday?" Lena asked.
"I don't know," she shrugged. "I didn't really look." She sat down on the bed, folding her knees up.
"Honey," Lena sighed, sitting next to her wife, as she began to cry. "Talk to me."
Stef swiped the back of her hand across her eyes. "It's real now, isn't it? I really have cancer." Since the day she learned her mammogram showed an abnormality, she had tried to avoid thinking about it. It was easy to pretend that she was okay at first, but since the diagnosis was confirmed, it was getting harder and harder. And now that that there was a physical sign; something she could see, there was no way she could deny it any longer.
"Come here," said Lena, holding out her arms.
Stef let her wife embrace her. She leaned into her, just letting herself be held.
"It's going to be okay," Lena soothed.
"How do you know?" she sniffled. "How can you always be so sure that everything will work out?"
"Because if anyone can beat this, it's you," her wife replied. "It scares me to death, knowing what we're facing. But I have faith that you're going to be okay."
"I have to get dressed for work," Stef mumbled, rising to her feet. The last time Lena had faith in something, it was their sweet Frankie. "And I'm going to make an appointment for us to meet with our lawyer as soon as the kids leave." She paused in her tracks. "Lena, what am I going to do about work?" That was another detail that she hadn't yet considered. It didn't seem possible that she would be able to continue working once she had her surgery and began chemo.
Her wife looked down sadly; she knew how much Stef loved her job. "I don't know..."
"I'll have to go on medical leave," she sighed. "There's nothing else I can do. At least I'll still get paid while I'm out."
"I think that's a good idea," Lena nodded.
"And there's so many people I have to tell," said Stef, as she pulled on her uniform. "Mike, my mother..." She dreaded telling her mother, but it was inevitable.
"Sweetheart, take it easy," Lena pleaded, taking her back in her arms. "Promise me, you'll try not to get too stressed out today?"
"I'll try."
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Mama Tiger
FanfictionWhen Stef is diagnosed with breast cancer, Callie takes it the hardest. How can Stef stay strong when the person who inspires her the most is falling apart at the seams?