Mama Tiger

Chapter 19.

Chapter 19.

"What are you doing, love?" Stef asked, rolling over to face Lena. Her wife was propped up in bed, her laptop on her knees. It cast a bluish glow over her face.

"Sorry, honey," Lena sighed. "I didn't mean to keep you up. I'll be done here in a minute."

"Antidepressants?" said Stef, furrowing her brow as she squinted at the back-lit screen. "Hon, is there something you need to tell me?"

"Just doing a little research," Lena told her, snapping the computer shut. She was hesitant to tell Stef about the problems she'd encountered with Callie, and her conversation with the therapist. But at the same time, she felt guilty keeping things from her wife. "For Callie."

"Callie?" Stef coughed. "What's going on." She touched Lena's arm lovingly. "You can tell me."

"Okay," said Lena, quietly. "But promise me you won't let it get you all upset. I've got it under control, and I don't want you to worry."

"I promise," Stef assured her.

"It turns out," she began, "that Callie hasn't been talking to Dr. Kodema about your illness. I had no idea until a few days ago." She studied her wife's puzzled face. "She finally brought it up at her last appointment; she didn't have a choice. She knew I would if she didn't."

"Anyway," she continued, "Dr. Kodema and I spoke, and she had some concerns. She feels that Callie is suffering from worsening depression and anxiety. She suggested antidepressants, but I told her I didn't want Callie on meds."

"And why is this the first I'm hearing of this?" Stef asked, mildly insulted. "Because this sounds like something I should have known about."

Lena looked at her sheepishly. "I'm sorry, sweetheart." She rubbed her temples with her fingertips. "Like I said, I didn't want you to get upset. It's not good for your health." She reached out and took her hand, squeezing it reassuringly. "I won't leave you out of the loop anymore."

"That's all I ask," Stef sighed, coughing again.

"I don't like the sound of that cough, honey," Lena told her. "I hope you're not coming down with something. We'd better get that checked out."

"I'm fine," she said, hurriedly. "Please, don't change the subject. Callie. Antidepressants."

Lena managed a small laugh. Stef never changed; that was why she loved her. "I know they could potentially help her, but the side effects really scare me. They've been known cause suicidal thoughts and actions in teens, and Callie is so impulsive, as it is. We don't know how she might react to the medication. I've also been reading about how the drugs effect the brain. We just don't know the long-term effects in kids."

"I agree with you," Stef confided, pulling her blanket up to her chin, trying to suppress another cough.

"What's more," said Lena. "I don't like the idea of numbing her pain with drugs. I'd rather we get to the root of her problems, instead of using pills."

Stef nodded. "I think you did the right thing, love. I would have done the same thing. But we can't really take away her choice, can we? Especially after all the discussion about Jesus's meds."

"I see what you mean," Lena agreed. "I didn't love the idea of putting him on medication either, at the time. But I know they were necessary."

"For everyone's sanity," Stef added with a laugh, remembering their son's elementary school years. "Listen. We'll talk to her about it tomorrow. We'll show her your research, and gently steer her away from choosing them."