Walk Through Hell with me [Shinsaku Takasugi]

Chapter 10

Since bumping into Hijikata at the tea house, Ai hadn’t written another letter.
And she wouldn’t. She couldn’t tell by his expression if he suspected her intention to betray him, but he was no idiot. Even if she thought he was. He would figure it out eventually.
“Hey, what are you doing there, just staring into space?” Gen asked upon finding Ai in her usual spot on the veranda.
“Do you know how much stuff there is to do today? Look lively!” Maro said.
Ai waved a lazy, dismissive hand. “This isn’t my party. Why should I have to
help?”
“Because if you don’t help, you won’t get any sweet soy sauce dango,” Maro
replied.
Ai whipped her head to him. “Now you’re blackmailing me?” She was met by a
smirk. Ai sighed and got up as the two barked orders at her. “I don’t see why
you can’t do these things yourself. I do enough around here.”
Takasugi emerged from inside, chuckling. “Gen. Maro.” Takasugi wrapped an arm around her shoulder as he stepped into the room. “Don’t insult the young lady.” Ai raised an eyebrow at him. “I taught you how to make soba perfectly well,
didn’t I?”
“Uh-huh.”
Takasugi laughed. “We can let you help us make the soba.”
“Whoa, whoa… Are you sure about this? I don’t wanna eat any nasty, amateur
soba,” Gen said.
“I will supervise her,” Takasugi said.
“Before when you taught me, you told me I was good at making soba,” Ai
mentioned as she followed Takasugi to the kitchen.
“You took that seriously?” he asked.
“Not in the slightest. Let’s face it, Shin. You and I both know I can’t cook worth
a damn.” At some point, Ai had started him calling ‘Shin’, like she called the
other two ‘Maro’ and ‘Gen’. Grinning mischievously, Shinsaku began preparing to make soba.
“You can clean, fight and play the shamisen, but you can’t cook?”
“Everything I can do, my sister taught me. She can actually cook too, but she
had to go to war before she could teach me. And I never thought it was necessary for me to have such a skill anyway, since I don’t actually need to eat human food.”
“If you’ve got time to reminisce about the past, then you’ve got time to get to work.” Takasugi slapped Ai on the butt.
She whirled around. “I told you to stop doing that!”
“What, are you shy? Team members always slap each other on the butt!”
“No they don’t! I’ve never seen you do it to Gen or Maro.”
“Hmm. I guess I just like yours better.” He stood behind Ai, guiding her in the soba making process, and smiling. Ai smiled too, her cheeks flushed. She liked
that smile; it made her feel warm. “What?”
“I like it when you smile,” Ai said matter-of-factly.
“If you think you can get away with silly comments like that, then I clearly need to be more strict when it comes to my teaching style.” There was a moment of
silence before Shin arched an eyebrow. Ai’s only answer was a wide grin before
she went back to making soba. “You think you’re good enough to make soba that’s
fit to serve to people?”
“Who knows?” Ai shrugged. “Hey, whatever happened to that soba I made that
one time?”
“Let’s just say, you should be glad you accidently left that soba behind.”
Ai looked up at him. “What does that mean?”
“Eating that soba might have shaved years off of your life.”
Ai chuckled behind her fist. “I’m not surprised.”
“I knew from the moment we started working together that your soba would
hopeless.”
Ai’s eyebrow twitched. “Okay, thank you, you can stop now.” Shin merely laughed.
Their hands touched as they both worked the rolling pin, stretching out the dough
for the soba. There was no telling how much longer Ai would be able to enjoy this
man’s company. Part of her didn’t want to part ways when this was all over.

“Tonight I’m really gonna let my hair down and go wild! PAAARTAAAY!!” Sakamoto
exclaimed. Everyone was already gathered at the tea house when Shinsaku and his friends brought in the food.
“All o’ this stuff looks incredible! I don’t know what to eat first!” Sakamoto said. “What’s goin’ on with these soba noodles, though? They’re all weird and lumpy lookin’.”
“I told you not to bring that stuff,” Ai cast a wary glance at Shin.
Sakamoto, having caught on that Ai was the one who made the weird soba, said, “Th… That’s okay! I was more in the mood for sweets today anyway!” He slowly moved away from the soba and started shovelling the ohagi that Maro made into his mouth.
Across from them, Ai noticed Chikage snickering. She cast a nasty glare his way,
which only made him laugh harder. Shin took a cupful of the soba she made and
started slurping it up. With a raised eyebrow, Ai tentatively slurped up some of her own soba. It didn’t go down as smoothly as it could have, but at least it was edible.
“Is this really how you should be spending your time?” Ai asked. “Eating soba with me?”
“Some kinda problem with that?”
Ai looked at the people partaking in joyous celebration. “Aren’t there people here you might never have the chance to meet again?”
“Sure, there are. But we all prepared for that inevitability a long time ago. This is no time for tearful farewells.” He spoke in a detached, matter-of-fact way. But he was watching Gen and Maro.
“I don’t want to say goodbye to them either,” Ai mused. She looked back and studied
the profile of Shin’s face. Her heart ached, and she bit her lip.
“Hey…” Shin stopped slurping his soba and stared intently at her. “I think you’d better forget about trying to entice men with soba.”
“Oh ha ha, very funny.” Ai rolled her eyes.
“Hijikata’s the reason you wanted to learn how to make soba in the first place, isn’t
he?”
“That feels like a lifetime ago.” Her legs outstretched in front of her, Ai leaned back
on her palms and stared at the ceiling as though she could see the bright moon
through it.
“I’m gonna need to move around a bit, to digest all of that.” Shin got up and grabbed his shamisen. Ai watched him before her eyes found the empty basket of soba in front of her. Did he really eat it all?

Before long, the party wound down. It was already midnight, and the room resounded with the rumble of drunken snoring.
“You got me my own room?” Ai asked after following Shin to a separate room.
“You want to sleep with Sakamoto?” he teased.
“Preferably not.” Ai took a casual look around the room. “I’ve been wondering this for a while, but… you never drink so much that you pass out, like those guys do?”
“Never. I always start playing the ol’ shamisen before I can drink enough to knock me out.” Ai smiled quietly. “You’re the quiet type, huh…?”
Ai chuckled. “I guess I am.” But she didn’t feel like talking. The silence was heavy and all she could think about was what was going to happen next… She didn’t want to say goodbye. If she asked, would he let her stay with him? But she couldn't find the words. “About Maro and Gen…” she started.
“What about them?”
“You’ve spent your entire life with them, haven’t you?” Ai ran her hand through her
long black hair as she looked up at him.
“Not quite my entire life, no. But we’ve been partners for quite some time… As for
what’s going to happen to that partnership from here on…? Well, we’ll see.” It was a smugharmless chat the two of them were having, but Ai’s heart felt heavy.
Ai wondered about Takasugi. About herself and the Shinsengumi. About the capital and the its people.
“Shin,” she said his name as she looked down to the floor, unable to look him in the
eye.
“Yeah?” he asked.
“Whatever happens, please… keep living.” Ai’s voice was little more than a strained
whisper.
“I didn’t think I’d still have any lingering feelings left for you.” At the sound of his
voice, Ai looked up. He stared into her eyes, his smile subtle. Yet it was enough for her heart to start doing cartwheels. “What if all the birds were gone?” He stepped closer. “We could sleep late each morning… I’d send every crow away… To sleep in, with you.” Ai smiled wryly at the realisation he was reciting another one of his dodoitsu poems. But his arms were wrapped tightly around her. Their eyes locked, and Ai could clearly see herself reflected in Shin’s wilful, dark irises. Her eyes
widened. “If I told you I’ve come to desire you… to really want you… what would you
do?” The sound of their clothes ruffling filled the otherwise silent room as he
pushed her down against the floor. Ai’s eyes became half-lidded, her head light.
“Didn’t I tell you before? I need you to give me some kind of sign…”
“Then…”
“You’re lips are trembling, but what are you trying to say.” Shin lightly touched her lips, and her shoulders shivered in response. Shin smiled, the touch of his fingertips so gentle it was like he was handling something fragile. They glided, from her cheek,
to her neck, to the front of her kimono. “Do you know what you mean to me…?” His hand came to a stop as he slowly leaned close. His eyes were serious; he wasn’t
teasing the demon, or playing around. Ai sucked in a breath, slowly pressing her hand against his cheek. Her mouth parted slightly as Shin stared deeply into her eyes,
coming closer. And closer. Their lips close enough to touch. “So… what are you going to do?” The tone of his voice told her he wasn’t only asking her about this one
moment. His question was more important than that. She could feel it.
Ai slid her hand to the back of his neck, pulling him closer. “I want…” At that very moment, Shin raised his head and Ai’s back became rigid as she quickly sat up. This smell… Fire. Grey smoke poured in from the crack in the screen door. Ai stood up and sniffed the air. “They’re here.” From across the hall, Ai could hear Sakamoto, Gen and Maro shouting.
“Official investigation! This is the Shinsengumi!” Hijikata’s voice came from outside
the tea house.
Ai glared sharply at the door, the amorous look in her eyes from moments before replaced by one of fury; malice; death.
“Takasugi! We got company!” Sakamoto burst through the door.
“The fire’s coming from around back!” Gen called out.
“There must be another way out of here. We’ve got to hurry!” Maro said.
“I’ve got some business to take care of here. You go on ahead,” Shinsaku told them.
“This is no time to be fooling around!” Gen shouted.
“Oh, I know. Trust me.” Shin was calm, confident. Sakamoto and the others
disappeared down the corridor. Ai turned towards him as the thundering footsteps of several men storming towards them resounded in her ears.
“They’re right. You have to get out of here. Now.” Why was he standing his ground
like this? There was no time! “Shin, listen to me!” Ai grabbed him by the shoulders.
“I can distract the Shinsengumi, maybe hold them off. You have to take that as your chance to escape! Get out of here. And stay alive!” Her eyes were pleading.
“Ai.” He said her name. Just as he was about to turn around, the fire made its way
into the room.
“Come out where we can see you!” The burning paper screen was kicked down,
revealing Hijikata and the rest of the Shinsengumi.