Thirty-Eight: Weak Knees

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I half-expected her to pull away, but Collins immediately leaned into the kiss

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I half-expected her to pull away, but Collins immediately leaned into the kiss. It felt regretful and sad, though. Desperate in an entirely different way than our kisses were last night.

Ignoring the pit in my stomach, I bit the bottom of her lip, letting it slide through my teeth as if I realized too late that I couldn't hold onto her like this. Collins gasped, and before I could take that gasp and make it mine, she pulled back.

"It really is complicated, Beau."

I must be hooked up to an IV filled with liquid panic, because that was the only thing pumping through my veins. It fueled me to fight through the sea of blankets, whipping them back until I found Collins' bare body. There she was. My fingers ran up her legs, and she shivered.

"Tell me not to touch you, then."

Conflict—that was what dripped through Collins' IV, and I could see her fighting it just as hard as I tried to swallow down my alarm.

"I can't," she breathed.

"Tell me you're not still wet for me," I rasped.

She shook her head. "I can't do that either."

My fingers traced the skin between her thighs, dipping dangerously close to her pussy. Collins' eyes fluttered shut.

"Tell me you don't want this."

"I—Beau."

"Say it," I said, nudging her open wider so I could take her clit between two fingers and give it a little pinch as I emphasized my next words. "Say it, Collins."

"I can't say it."

Fuck.

I wasn't even sure what I'd wanted to hear, but I realized it wasn't this. Pulling back, I sucked my wet fingers into my mouth to savor the last taste of this goddamn gorgeous girl. I rolled off my bed to pull my clothes back on, and my knees felt weak.

"Just so we're clear," I said, scanning her dazed face as I buttoned my shirt. Collins sat up in the bed, a wall rebuilding over her expression. "You couldn't say any of that, and you still want me to leave?"

Collins cleared her throat. "Yes."

"Got it." I shoved my feet into my shoes, feeling a bit angrier with each piece of clothing I put back on. "So you want it, but you don't want me."

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