Honey, Make This Easy

Part 3.5

POV Josh

Y/N nearly sprinted out the door, Sam's carton of American Spirits in hand. Jake was laughing at Sam's shocked expression, and Josh couldn't help but snort out a chuckle, as well.

Josh stood up, turning towards the patio when Sam asked, "Where are you going?"

"Outside." He replied, blandly.

Jake quirked a brow, "You sure that's a good idea? You two aren't exactly on the best of terms right now."

"Fuck off, we're fine. Y/N never has a lighter on her, so I figured I'd lend her mine, I don't think it'll be the start of World War Three."

Sam tipped back in his chair and gave a sarcastic wiggle of his fingers, "Alright Joshy, you have fun and play nice out there."

Josh threw his brothers a half-hearted middle finger before pushing the patio door open. The night was cold, and his shoulders tensed against its chill.

He watched as Y/N patted her pockets and mumbled a disgruntled "Fuck," certainly looking for a lighter that wasn't there.

"Missing something?" He asked, finding it strangely endearing when Y/N jumped at his voice. "You were always bumming a light off me in high school, I figured forgetting a lighter was probably a habit you hadn't dropped since then."

It was true. Not once could Josh remember a time where Y/N had her own light. Some would find it annoying, the fact that she would constantly bum one off him, but he secretly loved it. He that he could count on her finding him at every party, or bumping his shoulder gently when they were hanging out one-on-one, always with a sheepish smile, asking to borrow his. It felt like something special they shared, that she could always rely on him for even such a small thing. It made him feel like a cemented fixture in her life. For a while, anyway.

Josh fished his Bic from his pocket, and almost handed it over when Y/N reached for it. However, a tempting idea wormed its way into his brain, and he found himself shaking his head and holding out his hand, instead. Y/N looked confused, so Josh gestured towards the carton of cigarettes, indicating he wanted one before he'd offer up his precious light.

Y/N rolled her eyes, and Josh was once again taken aback by how he found her so stupidly endearing. She offered him a cigarette and waited patiently for him to light his own before asking again for the Bic.

Josh shook his head and fought against the wicked grin that threatened to overtake his lips, and instead waved Y/N to him, silently telling her just how he'd help her light her cigarette. A sick curl of satisfaction unfolded within him as he watched Y/N approach hesitantly, her eyes wide with both innocence and, was that hunger?

Gently, she pressed towards him, but couldn't make the tip of her cigarette find purchase against his own. Josh watched her struggle for a moment before he felt his arms raise towards her face.

Time seemed to slow as he was struck with uncertainty about what he was doing in that moment. Things between them had been tense. He knew that Y/N was still angry with him, more for how he'd been acting over the past couple of weeks than for what happened on Grad Night, and Josh was admittedly still hurt over what she'd done to him. This peace they had now was fragile, at best, and any wrong move would surely thrust them back into their dispute.

A reasonable man would have dropped his arms and instead handed Y/N the lighter, letting this moment go. But Josh wasn't feeling particularly reasonable, especially not now. Especially when it came to her.

So instead, he let his fingertips press into her face and guide her until the tip of her cigarette was pressed firmly enough against his own that it lit. He watched as she inhaled unsteadily and the glow from the cherry illuminated her face softly, his eyes flicking from her lips, to her eyes, to her cheeks, where his fingertips were still pressed softly into her skin.

Reluctantly, Josh pulled away, feeling triumphant when he noticed Y/N sway towards him, chasing the contact before she righted herself.

The two of them smoked in a silence Josh would have called comfortable if not for the electricity that buzzed between them. He kept watching her from the corner of his eye, enraptured by the way her chest rose and fell with each drag of her cigarette, spellbound by the smoke as it lazily drifted from between her parted lips.

He was ready to do something especially rash, when Y/N asked "Josh?" pulling him from his reverie.

"Hmm?" he hummed, not trusting his voice to speak.

She flashed him a smile dazzling enough to knock the air from his lungs, "It's been good seeing you, again."

Josh wanted to say so much in that moment. He wanted to say how sorry he was about everything, how much he'd missed her and thought about her over the years. He wanted to tell Y/N how awful these past weeks had been, knowing she was so close but still unreachable because of this stupid fight that neither of them could move beyond.

He wanted to say all of those things, but he didn't.

Instead, Josh smirked and replied, "Yeah, it's been nice having you around, Y/N."