Honey, Make This Easy

Part 5 (18+)

Of all the bad ideas throughout the history of the world; invading Russia in the Winter, dating apps, changing Trix cereal into spheres instead of fruit shapes, this was probably the worst.

Matt was throwing a party, one that you knew the Kiszkas would be attending, and here you were on the doorstep about to go inside.

It had been two weeks since what you called The Incident, and you hadn't been back to the Garden's Gate since. You still talked to Sam, he texted you almost daily, but it had been radio silence from Jake. You were still angry and confused about what he'd said about you messing with Josh's head as if it wasn't Josh who'd been scrambling yours, so you let him give you the cold shoulder.

Josh did reach out a couple times. Once, on Monday, the day after the date from Hell, he called and when you didn't pick up, left a voicemail asking to meet up and talk. He texted a few days after that, asking if you were coming to the bar that night.

You wanted to respond, you wanted to talk everything over and just figure out what this was between you, once and for all. But you couldn't, because what if he said it was all a big mistake? What if he regretted kissing you, or worse, regretted rekindling your friendship? You could stomach being a coward and keeping your distance on your own terms, you couldn't stomach a life completely devoid of Josh because he didn't want anything to do with you. Not anymore. Not when you just got him back.

But the past two weeks were some of the worst in your recent memory. You were anxious, tired all the time, not eating right. Your boss had asked if you were doing okay, noting the bags under your eyes, so you knew you looked like shit. You couldn't even zone out to your preferred trashy reality TV shows, because no matter what you did, your mind always went back to Josh.

You began to consider the possibility that maybe, just maybe, you were still a little bit in love with him.

And once you began to think about that, it completely consumed you. Now, during your every waking moment, you were wondering how you fell back in love with Josh so quickly, or whether you had fallen out of love with him to begin with.

So why were you now procrastinating outside a house party that you knew Josh was currently attending? Simple. Katie and Riley had come over with a ridiculous amount of weed and you got really, really high.

"Are you sure you want to come?" Riley had asked, apprehensive, as Katie rummaged through your closet to find something for you to wear.

"Of course she wants to come! It's going to be fun and she hasn't been out in weeks!" Katie responded, throwing you a lacy, black, crop top.

Riley sighed loudly, "Let me rephrase; is this a good idea?"

"Riley," Katie scolded, poking her head out of the closet to send a glare out the door, "you are really harshing my vibe, right now."

Throughout the conversation, you had been lying back on your bed, giggling. The weed was clouding your judgment in the most pleasant way, and you felt confident that this was the best idea ever. They had initially come over for a smoke sesh before they went to they went to the party without you, as the day prior you were adamant about not attending, but the weed was really good and Katie was very persuasive, and the time it took to convince you to get ready for the party had been alarmingly short once the bong was brought out.

Now that your high had subsided a bit, your courage had, as well. You'd told Katie and Riley to go in ahead of you a few minutes ago, and your anxiety had only skyrocketed since then. There were a couple of unattended chairs to the right of you on the porch, and despite the chilly evening, you sat down in one of them, willing your nerves to calm.