One Silver Coin For a Pound of Demon

Chapter 27

Draft
____

You suddenly realize that Lemuel wasn't asleep.

He just evened his breathing, fooling the flustered you. When you left the bed, he also left to follow you. The confessional room is unlocked but there are hidden prayers on it, but you've forgetten that you've tried too many means of resisting prayers on him during this period of time, and that his demon blood isn't pure enough.

Lemuel found the confessional, Lemuel saw you.

He stares at you, and as you said before, Lemuel could be very stern, the kind of sternness an officer would show to a recruit. You subconsciously feel guilty, like you've been interrupted while doing something shameful.

"What are you doing?" He asks.

What you're doing is obvious and needs no reply, but when he asks you, you find it hard to answer.

"Confessing." You bite the bullet and reply anyway.

"Because of me?" He says.

"No, because of me." You blurt out.

You're repenting and it's entirely about you. It was you who have done so many things you shouldn't have, and you wanted to get close to him. Any crime of Lemuel has to be borne by you, he is innocent. You can do this, just like the Holy Son who had been crucified to cleanse the sins of this world, as long as you suffer you still have the power and the qualifications.

But Lemuel didn't let you go. "Why?" he asks. "What did you do?"

You feel a little distressed.

You shouldn't have eaten the extravagant food, you shouldn't have slept on a soft bed, you shouldn't have worn woolen gloves, you shouldn't have indulged in lust, and you shouldn't have let Lemuel take such a huge place in your heart, squeezing out your belief and the Lord. You shouldn't have enjoyed his company day after day, telling yourself it was just healing and helping... What have you done wrong? Too many, too many to count. Why? There is no why, it's just how it is, it's wrong. A fish living in water can't tell what water is, and you don't know how to explain it. If Lemuel had been one of your former colleagues or teachers, he would've understood.

But he wasn't, Lemuel's face is saying that he doesn't understand at all, he didn't want to understand either. He looks like an inflated balloon, a step away from bursting. You're afraid that he'll be mad at you, but you're also ready for him to become angry with you. You already knew that Lemuel wouldn't like seeing this, did you? Otherwise why would you hide it and repent while he's asleep? You kneel where you are, waiting.

Lemuel didn't get angry, he glares at you angrily for a moment, then closed his eyes suddenly. His shoulders slump and he wipes his face, his anger suddenly deflates at its peak. "It's none of my business, isn't it." Lemuel smiles self-deprecatingly and whispers, "What right do I have to take care of you."

He turns his head and walks out.

Your heart suddenly sinks, his leaving back chills you. You're afraid that Lemuel will be angry with you, but even more worried that he'll be disappointed with you. You'd rather Lemuel curse and question you than for him to turn around and leave, as if he's completely disappointed and has no interest in reconciliation. You hurriedly step up and accidentally fall back to the ground. The numbness from your wound and being at a kneeling position for so long has affected your movement. You get up and stagger towards the door, almost colliding with Lemuel walking back.

You stare at the door of the confessional and Lemuel says with a sullen face, "Put on your clothes." When you picked up your clothes and put them on your body, he grabs your hand again. "Your back!" Lemuel says through gritted teeth.