Eternal

Eternal - Chapter 9

Laurent

When Laurent wakes up again, it's to a sense of inner calm he hasn't had since this whole nightmare started. 

For the first time in weeks, his mind is clear and his energy levels are fully restored. There's not a trace left of the blinding headache that usually throbs away at his eyeballs. His muscles are relaxed and his breathing is even and for a terrifying second, Laurent thinks that maybe Larry absorbed the pain from him somehow. That maybe his twin took the burden from him in his sleep and now it's Larry who suffers instead of him. 

The thought is as unbearable as it is short-lived.

Laurent lifts his head off of his twin's chest only to find Larry fast asleep and with his features smoothed out in comfortable bliss. He looks as well-rested as Laurent feels, which means that his headache hadn't transferred between them but simply vanished overnight.

Laurent bites his lower lip and fights down the sudden urge to cry. He's been good at quenching emotional outbursts but every once in a while things threaten to catch up with him. It almost feels surreal, this entire thing, from the nosebleeds to the diagnosis to the chemo treatment. He knows it will get worse before it gets better and he has no idea how to get Larry through it. His brother is already running on fumes as it is and if Laurent is in denial about what's happening then so is Larry, only a thousand times more.

Laurent knows his brother won't acknowledge the worst-case scenario, but he sometimes can't help but think about the what-ifs. What if the therapy isn't working? What if nothing else works either? What if he won't make it? The thought pains him more than he wants to admit. He feels guilty for even just considering it.

He purses his lips and banishes the thoughts to the darkest corner of his mind before he sits up, careful not to rouse his sleeping brother. He sends one last look back at Larry before dragging himself out of bed and stretching his body with a yawn. He takes a quick shower and throws on slacks and a loose T-shirt before making his way to the kitchen where he fixes himself a small breakfast. Larry finds him like that a bit later, hunched over his phone with the spoon from his yogurt dangling loosely from his mouth.

"Sleep well?" Larry smooths a palm over his back and Laurent leans into the touch.

"Much better today."

Larry smiles at him and it's a genuine smile, the kind that reaches his eyes. "Really?"

Laurent nods at him. "I was thinking we could go to the studio."

The flicker of hopefulness dies on Larry's face. He starts shaking his head before the words are fully out. "Laurent, you just had chemo."

"Exactly," Laurent insists. "We've barely left the apartment since I got released from the hospital. I swear to god if I spend another day cooped up in here, I'll go crazy."

Larry's shoulders are high up around his neck and he's not looking at Laurent. He's tense with how badly he wants to deny him, but Laurent knows his brother. Larry needs this just as much as he does. "Look, I know you're worried. But I'll be fine. You'll be right there with me to keep me in check if I go too hard, okay?"

Larry still refuses to look at him. His jaw is locked hard. "Lau, it's too early. Yesterday you couldn't even walk straight and now you wanna dance?"

"I'll be fine," he says, his voice taking on a plaintive tone. He knows how to win Larry over and that his brother's resolve is already crumbling. "Larry, I need this. Please. Just for an hour or two. I need to get out of here. To do something else than just sleep and throw up and get taken care of. I wanna feel alive again. Like I'm still in control of some parts of my life."

Larry's expression softens and Laurent knows he got him.

He wraps his arms around his brother's waist and leans in to press a gentle kiss against Larry's cheek. "C'mon. Eat something and then we're leaving."

xxxx

Larry

Laurent's dancing is nothing short of breathtaking. 

His movements are fluid, his rhythm is impeccable. 

Larry lets him choose the music and then he just sinks down and watches. 

They don't usually feel the need to complement each other, but tonight Larry wants to tell Laurent that he's beautiful. That nobody on the surface of this earth even compares to him. Nobody ever has and nobody ever will. He wants to say that Laurent is the best dancer on earth to him and he wants to shout it from the roof tops, his heart bursts with so much pride. 

He's never been more in awe of his brother than in this moment, with Laurent cancer-riddled and sick and dancing like none of it matters. Like he wants to prove to the whole world that no disease will be strong enough to beat him down. Like cancer doesn't hold a lick of power over him and he's ready to prove it.

Laurent goes hard and Larry lets him. He doesn't say anything when he stumbles. Or when he catches himself against the mirrored wall, or when his knee starts bothering him and he staggers. Or when his breath comes out in short bursts of exhaustion, his chest rising and falling at an alarming speed. Instead, Larry sits and forces himself to watch all of it without uttering a single word of protest. When it's all said and done, Laurent's body is shaking and his face is all flushed from exertion. He all but collapses to the floor and only then, Larry makes his way over with a towel and a bottle of water.

"Better?" Larry asks, uncapping the bottle and handing it to his twin.

Laurent drains two thirds of it in one go and coughs a little. He can't seem to catch his breath but there's a lazy smile gracing his features and it's infectious.

"Hey Larry?"

"Mhm."

"Even with cancer, I still kick your ass."

Larry can't help it.

He laughs.