eternal rain : rain lilies

Chapter 5: Words Eaten by the Wind

"Ugh..." I groaned, my head still spinning. I'm still nauseous though not as bad as before. I can hear the soft purr of car engine and a soft classical music on the background. It was like a scene before.

"Tchaikovsky? Really?" I asked, smiling. We are on Rico's truck, having the best joy ride of my life. We are on our way to their province, to visit his family. I snuck in to the back seat tag me along. Of course, I have to give a different alibi at home.

"What's wrong with him? He's a genius..." he boasted proudly. Smiling widely like he is describing a saint.

"Yeah, I have nothing against him... still, that's quite outdated..." I secretly chuckled. He looked at me from the driver's seat, speculating.

"Nothing beats a classical..." he reasoned out.

"Ha-ha... yeah... I have love classical since I met the music of my life one Saturday afternoon on a church..."

"That's quite a broad distinction... ha-ha..." and he held my hands all the way to their home with his warm, pianist hands.

I shook the memories away, it makes my head ache more and my heart to suffer once again. Instead, I focused my mind on the music, to see what song it is. Weirdly enough, Swan Lake emanates from the radio. I didn't know that Rico also loves classical, or Tchaikovsky for that matter.

Well that is if, wait... what if it's? I gasped, my eyes flew wide open. I turned abruptly to my side, to the driver's seat. The car stopped and he looked at me with wide concerned eyes.

There, on the soft reflection of the moonlight on his exquisite face, I saw the same man I loved. My heart picked up its pace and galloped like a racing horse. His eyes are full of unfathomable questions.

"Is there anything wrong? Are you in pain?"

Yeah. What's wrong here is that you came back and that you are sitting beside me... yes, yes indeed, I'm in great pain because of you... everything is because of you...

"A little..." I answered and turned away, to look out of the window. I heard him sigh and start the car again.

"Here..." he thrust me some tablet-like thing. "...painkillers" he added but never took his eyes off the road again. I grabbed the medicine and studied it a little. I'll just take these once I got home. I always find it hard to drink medicines without water.

"There's a bottle of water in the dashboard... I bought it along with the medicine while you're still unconscious..."

I felt the same warmth suddenly surging somewhere in my long lost forgotten heart but I ignored it as swiftly as it had come, took the medicine, swallowed it hastily, chased it with water, and rested my head unto the car seat.

"Where is Rico? Why is that we are the only ones on our way back?" I asked without looking at him.

"He has to take care of some wedding matters, and he asked me to take you home... your family is staying on a hotel near the church... they said that they wanted to shop before going home..." he explained gently. His angelic voice is resonating within the car making me speechless, like it always does.

"They let me go with you? Well... that's a surprise... my family hates you..." he flinched from my words.

"They didn't know that I am the one to accompany you... they haven't seen me yet..."

"I see..." I don't want to think anymore. I don't want to see, hear, or even feel his presence next to me. it makes me more vulnerable.

"Blaze... we have to talk..." he insisted softly but with conviction.

"It's Irish... and I don't want to... there's nothing to say anyway... your words will just be eaten by the wind..." I squinted my eyes close, ignoring his words.

"Please... I just need to tell you something... I may not have another opportunity to..." he pleaded; I can hear the slight shaking of his voice. My heart throbbed.

"Stop that... no matter what you say and no matter what excuse you have, you still hurt me to the point that I almost considered committing suicide..."

Then there was silence. The only noise I can hear I the car's engine. The dark figures we're passing by are like big onions hurting my eyes. It may sound funny but it's true. Warm tears are rolling like razor blades down on my cheeks.

"But... don't you think you deserve to know why I left and why didn't I return?" by this time, my eyes are beginning to droop and I can't comprehend the things he said.

I guess the medicine is taking its effect now. Good. Because I don't want to hear Lance's pleads anymore. I had enough of it today. I just want to drown myself with blankness that comes with the mercy of sleep, that is, if those dreams won't replay today.

"Whatever..." was the last husky whisper I said beforedrifting away.