The Re-Set

Sleepy Sunday

"More new girls." Catherine Martin commented straight after church, as we walked through the pretty churchyard, waiting for our parents to finish chatting and call us back to go home. I was holding her hand, of course. Caroline had asked her to look after me, as she said I was a little out of sorts, and to hold my hand all the time, but she also wanted us to stretch our legs after two long services and our bible class. I obeyed, obviously, but I was not actually at all out of sorts. I was just grumpy about my father being so thoughtless, and still tired, as if I could sleep forever.

"Beth said that her place for next term was only guaranteed until half-term, and that's only a few more weeks...so, people have to make up their minds quite soon?" I suggested, looking at the new faces but not recognising anyone. I was wearing my salmon pink coat with the velvet collar, and Catherine was wearing a red overcoat with black velvet trimmings, as the spring had turned a bit chilly again for delicate little flowers like us, but we did not look out of place amongst the new members of the congregation. So, I decided to change the subject slightly and ask Cate a personal question that had been bothering me. "I am quite surprised your mum hasn't got you a chaperone?"

"Are you kidding? Charlotte does the job for her...she tells Mummy everything?" Catherine groaned, and I nodded, remembering Charlotte telling Catherine to call their mother mummy rather than mum, even when we were just talking amongst ourselves. "Do you think Beth will stay on next year?"

"I'm not sure...I think she wants to...but we aren't really talking at the moment." I admitted with a shrug of my shoulders, not sure that I cared either way. I loved Beth, but I was not sure that she was my friend anymore.

"Everyone noticed that you were really good for her, last week...we were all waiting for an explosion, but it never came?"

"I was so sick of arguing with everyone...and my whole life was changing around me...but I am not sure I can keep it up?" I sighed, and Catherine gave my hand a squeeze.

"You have to try, Olivia...girls like us aren't allowed to be naughty..."

"What do you mean? Girls like us?"

"Church girls...Pastor Michael calls us nurslings...and unless you want to be spanked, which really hurts, you have to be a good one...like my little sister." Catherine moaned, as we reached the bottom of the churchyard and turned to walk back towards the adults. "Our parents have decided that they want us to be good Christian children and Pastor Michael is telling them how to do it...and as it is for our own good, if you resist, it just gets worse...it's better not to resist it, Olivia...it's just until we are eighteen, after all..."

I did not tell Catherine that Caroline had already spanked me. For a start, it was none of her business, and secondly, I was a little cross that everyone thought that I was going to explode at some stage the previous week. I was getting so tired of hearing about my bad temper, because I was not that hot-headed, really. I was beginning to get the impression that I had a reputation for losing my temper and getting into trouble. Dad and Caroline certainly thought so, and Beth seemed to agree with them, but hearing it from Catherine Martin, who I had not really known that well before things changed, was a rather unsettling surprise. So, I was not sorry at all to be called back up to the adults, or to be strapped into my car seat for the short drive home. But I still found enough time to fall asleep in the car, because I really was tired, or rather emotionally drained, I suppose. So much had happened, and so much had been said to me, and about me one way or the other, in such a short space of time, that my head had been constantly spinning like a top, apart from my meltdowns, as Caroline called them, and I badly needed to switch off and recuperate.

"She is simply a different child to the one we all met a fortnight ago?" Mrs Blackstone, who was elevated to Grandma in my world, all of a sudden, said as she shifted me on her lap, trying to get us both comfortable. I had been carried in from the car to discover that all of Felicity's grandparents were joining us for lunch, and Grandma had taken charge of me. Mrs Buckingham sat next to us, with Felicity. I was calling her Nana, like my sister.