Being Allister Bird

Battle of the Bands

Despite my reservations about attending something straight out an American teen flick , I ended up actually enjoying Battle of the Bands more then I thought. Maybe it was because I was so fucking glad to escape a place where my neighbour had decided that having a drug fuelled party would be a good idea. Or maybe it was because the mum was under so much pressure with her coursework she began shouting at the flickering lamp. Either way , I rediscovered my smile that night. Battle of the Bands took place at a quaint little pub called 'The Mary Sue's' that resided down the narrowest alleyway conceivable , and , like every year , the place was stuffed to the brim. People flooded in and out of the front doors , which were flung open and decked out in rain hued fairy lights. The whole place was , actually. Fairy lights hung around every reachable corner of the pub , and swung precariously on the decking outside. As me and Rowan arrived inside , our arms heavy with instruments and various pieces of kit ,  it suddenly hit me that this was our first time performing in front of a crowd. Piero and Joan were a sort of audience , and I guess Youtube views counted for something , but this was our first time in front of people. Real , actual people. Beautiful women in rogue red lipsticks and petti skirts , who danced to the DJ and winked as I walked by. Handsome men with gelled back hair who smoked on the patio and stunk of booze. They would watch us , and judge us with every inch of their being. They could cheer , or boo or... "Am I the only one slightly freaking out?" Jimmy gulps as he approach's us from the backroom. He looks as handsome as ever , black suit and curled raven black hair , but the poor guy was minutes away from crying and absolutely covered with sweat. "Jimmy" Rowan said , voice calm and parental. "Don't freak out" "I'm not freaking out" "You literally just said you were freaking out" "No , I-" Jimmy sighs and takes a deep breath , and then reaches for his water bottle , glugging it down faster then an Olympian after a race. "Do you think alcohol would make me feel better?" "Jimmy" Rowan says. A warning. "Ro , what if they hate us? What if they think the bands shit? Or like , what if my voice breaks 'cause you know I've been struggling with the voice thing, or what if there like , I dunno , racist or..." Before Jimmy can burst into tears and ruin the cool kids vibe we were going for (which , to be fair , none of us are) , Rowan pulls him into his arms and hugs him. Tight. "Its gonna be okay , Jimjam. You've got us , and we're your best buds , right?" Jimmy nods through watery tears , and then turns his face defiant face towards the stage. It was only a small platform , barely a stage at all , and it was lit with so many yellow and red stage lights I doubt any of us would be able to see the audience at all. "Look. Your Grandparents are here , and my fam are just over by the left side column. Everyone we love is here to support us" Rowan says this was a reassuring smile to us all , but it doesn't make my heart break any less. Everyone we love. Yeah , okay. That hurt. Newsflash of the day; Allister Bird , known asshole and repressor of feelings , feels heart ache. Who would have guessed? "So boys"  Rowan continues , unaware of how quickly my eyes were swelling with tears. "Are we ready for the greatest night of our lives?"

As Jimmy pulls me off the stage with a smile as wide as the Cheshire Cat , I feel every inch of pain in my heart disappear. We did that. We sang our songs and brought the whole of Kent to its feet. Alright , so maybe not the whole of Kent , but it felt pretty close. One guy in the front row shouted out that we were better then McFly , which is a complement if I ever heard one. Rowan's guitar riffs were off the charts , my drumming was better then it had ever been in rehearsals and Jimmy... well , Jimmy was simply magical. He commanded that stage with as much electric power as he could conjure , and the room was at his command. Every word was listened to with enraptured ears. Every face was alive with joy. He was the magician , bringing his subjects to life. Me and Rowan were good but Jimmy... my god , Jimmy was a star.  "Fuck me guys , that was insane" I cry , the music of our encore blearing in my ears. Rowan was beaming , his hair drenched in sweat and his joy abounding. Jimmy had grabbed my hands and twirled me around , his brown eyes full of a light and a happiness I had never seen in him flowing out in abundance. Now this. This was happiness. 

The waiting was killing me. No offense to the other bands , but we all knew Noah and the Ark had won. The other bands came on with dutiful smiles and polite claps , but they didn't hold a candle to us. There was a girl band who all wore matching hairbands and a male drummer with black hair who looked more fragile then a china doll who'd befriended a bull , and they were all good. I guess. Around halfway through , I left the backstage area to find some snacks , and I found myself coming face to face with the lead singer of the boyband who'd come before us. Both literally and figuratively. He smiles sweetly and introduces himself as Paul , which seemed to be the blandest name for the most handsome of men. His blonde hair was gelled back and the glitter that sparkles upon his pale face looked like stars in the night. Oh. Okay. I tried my best to ignore the funny things my heart was doing. It wasn't just my heart , neither. "I'm Paul" He says , again , because apparently I hadn't replied and had spent the best part of a minute staring at his abs that were unfairly on display due to the crop top he wore. "Oh. Right. Paul. I'm. Allister" I manage to squeak , my brain clearly not corresponding with my mouth today. "Cool. Loved the performance , man. Your bound to win" Paul smiles , a breezy and warm smile that set off fireworks in my heart. Jesus. Get a hold of yourself , kid. "Oh , thanks! You were really good too" I reply , trying to match his effortless cool energy I was clearly lacking right now. But then Paul's smile falls and a his brow raises , like he was trying not to laugh. "Oh. I haven't performed yet. My bands up next" Oh. Shit. Well done , Lister. Golf claps all round. Somehow , and with considerable effort , I manage to smile and say "Right. Thought I hadn't seen you yet , cause who could forget a face like that?" Turns out , I'm a actually a pretty nifty flirter as Paul's pale cheeks burn a vivid red and his eyes glisten with mischief. "Stick around after the show , kid. I'll be in Divine Bar , just down main street , if you wanna see me really perform" I feel every inch of my intellectual thoughts shut down and become replaced by one single thought. Pretty. Boy. Just. Flirted. With. Me. Holy Shit. This didn't happen to me. Girls flirted with me , and that was fine. More then fine. But every gay and queer guy at school didn't pay me an ounch of attention. I guess I didn't fit into their ideal of what a queer guy should act like. I didn't like musicals or listen to Lady Gaga or watch Glee , and I started fights and got suspended and played on the football team. I didn't really mind , not really. The only guy I wanted to be kissing didn't pay the slightest bit of attention romantically , so it didn't really matter. But it felt nice , flirting with a guy. Freeing , maybe. Like I didn't have to pretend. By the time i've pulled myself out of my queer identity crisis , Paul has gone and rejoined his band , and I see my own band smiling at me from the green room. Alright lads , time to lift our trophy.

We won , in the end. Course we did, Nobody was suprised. The girlgroup left in a huff , and Rowan couldn't stop laughing. The judges crowned us Kings of the Night and Paul grinned at me from the curtains , his smile infectious and his eyes alight with pride. The lights shone down on us as we lifted the 3ft 2 gold plated statue high in the air , the crowd roaring with love and our hearts overflowing with joy. Just for a moment , that one singular moment , I felt on top of the world.