Being Allister Bird

The Boars Inn

"Is that a hickey?" Rowan frowns as I step out of his mother's car. To be fair , i'm suprised he didnt figure it out sooner , but the dark neon lights of his mother's Honda wouldn't show up a dancing flamingo in bright reds. I don't say a word , only raise my eyebrow and check my phone. 

One new message; mum

Hi Ally! Hope it all goes well tonight :) so sorry i can't be there Nora has just called in sick and Jane's middle boy is still in A + E so will have to miss the performance. Pls make Piero film it on his ipid' 

ipid. I just knew mum was typing under the table at the meeting right now. A pang of sadness flits through my body , quick enough to brush off as nerves , and thankfully Rowan doesn't notice. If he does , he doesn't mention it. "But really , a hicky?" He contuines , the convosation apparently intersting enough to warent this much attention. "Its not a big deal , Ro" I reply as we make our way to the venue , our sore hands laden with equiptment. "Remember when we were in year 9 and Ben literally pushed you into the wall and you had three stiches?" I roll my eyes at him , because what had this to do with anything? "Anyway , you said 'no big deal , nobody can see it!'" Then , he does a horrible inpersonation of my accent and I have half a mind to slap him. If I wasn't carrying all this crap , I guess. "Well , everyone can see it Lister! Couldn't you tryst with your lucky lady wait until tomorrow?" Well , I felt like saying , no. No , it couldn't of. Because my 'lucky lady' was a member of a London boyband who danced with me to Britney and then took me into the toliets and kissed me so hard I forgot how to breathe. "Its fine , Ro. I'm sure i'll find a girl who can cover it with conceler" Rowan scoffs at me , his ever present Mr. Judgement appearing in his eyes. "I'm sure you'll find a girl , Allister. You seem more then capable of doing that" I have half a mind to say that i'm capable of finding a boy , too , but don't want to make things akward. For all I know , Rowan is a homophobe with a love of Maggie Thatcher and a hatred for anything remotely gay. Best not burn all my bridges. Especially when Rowan was becoming more and more like a brother to me everyday. 

Once we reach the Boars Inn, Rowan actually laughs out loud. An actual Boars Head is nestled snugly on the door , and the handle is place right between its dead and decaying mouth. "Jesus Christ" Rowan mutters , as Jimmy appears and whispers "Blasphemy" so quietly that both of us jump. "Is that allowed? Like , is that legal?" Rowan cries , his attention still fixated on the dead thing in front of us. "Yep!" Jimmy smiles cheerfully. "Isn't it great! God , I love Kent" I just stare at him and laugh , and he catches my eye and grins too. Moments like this , I realize , are when my heart begins to flutter a little too hard and a catch himself from smiling too hard. Stop it , Lister , I tell myself. If your heart gets broken , you only have yourself to blame.

This was our grand prize , apparently. For winning this elsisive compatition that bands from all over the UK enter. A rainbow coloured carpet that smelt of beer and photographs of black and white men with beards too large and hetrosexuaity too nausiating. I find it kinda weird that all these men , these scolars and regular drinkers from 1912 , are now all dead. Buried and lost underground , worm food , like that iconic scene from 'Dead Poets Society'. Ugh. Too much dead thought for one night. As we walk futher in , I realize the lights above are flickering and the black tables around us are sleek with sticky alcohol and uneaten chips. Three uneaten packets. That could have fed me and mum for a week. In short , the whole place feels like its come striaght from the 1970's and hasn't been updated a jolt from the days of minors strikes and bad Doctor Who. This was our prize? Rowan catches my unimpressed look and frowns deeply. "Alright boys , so I know it isn't exactly the London Palladium" "Or Butlins" Jimmy moans , apprently still bitter from a childhood experience his Gran never let him see. "But this could be fun!" Rowan's enthusuam is sweet , I guess , but I don't feel like giving in to sweet today. I haven't eaten since Wednesday. 'Sweet' hasn't crossed my mind for more then a week. "Rowan , it's shit" I proclaim , my hunger and tiredness and anger all coming out in one. "Its really , really shit. Last week , 'The Krankies' were here. Who the fuck are they? And tomorrow , they've booked 'Mr Blobby!" "We're in good company" Jimmy mutters , which makes me laugh dispite my outburst. Rowan just stares at me , confusion and worry etched into his eyebrows as he furrows them together. "Are you okay Allister? You look a bit pale" Do I? Well , Rowan , not being able to eat hardly anything and having to beg at the food bank will do that to you. I try not to get too upset about it all , but because its the school holidays and my school free meals have stopped and mum lost one of her jobs I feel just a bit fucking bitter about it all. It especially pisses me right off when Pierro takes Jimmy to Pizza Hut when he'd already eaten out at Weatherspoons with us. But I don't say this. I don't say any of this. How could I , and risk them getting too involved? If they called social services to help , I might get taken into foster care. They'd brand mum an unfit mother , just because she couldn't escape the breadline. So no , I couldn't tell my boys. I just couldn't. "Ready , Allister?" Rowan says , and I shoot a smile back in reply.