someone to stay || dreamnotfound

chapter 6

george's pov
tws: panic attack (individual warning), talk about self harm and suicidal thoughts (whole chapter I think)

It had been almost half an hour since Dream left to get changed and he hadn't come out yet. At first I thought he was just struggling to find something, considering he hadn't been at the beach for ages.

But after fifteen minutes I had gotten worried. I had knocked a few times, asking if he needed me for something but he always refused, asking me to "just give him a couple more minutes".

The others were enjoying their time outside, waiting for us to get ready and I decided to make one final trip upstairs to go check up on Dream. Though when my hand was laying on the doorknob, my heart stopped.

!!! panic attack !!!

Shallow breathing and choked sobs were escaping Dreams room, making me not hesitate any longer. I carefully opened the door, finding the blonde in between piles of clothes, clearly panicking.

"Dream? It's George. You will be alright" I assured softly as I sat down next to him, taking his hand into my own. He didn't even dare to look at me, eyes flashing through his room as if he was still looking for something.

I figured that asking about it wouldn't help until he was calm enough. Since I didn't know the reasoning behind his sudden panic, I decided to be as careful as possible to not trigger him in any kind of way.

"Can you look at me please?" I asked calmly, watching him shake his head rapidly. My thumbs continued drawing circles onto his hands for a few minutes until I felt him squeeze them tightly, indicating he was ready to cooperate. We had agreed on this a while back for moments like this and I was more than glad he remembered it.

"Look at me, Dream" I whispered and his eyes met mine for a few seconds, drifting off after.
"Try to focus on my eyes, Dream. You're doing so good".

Again, he made eye contact, this time holding it long enough for me to talk to him. "Am I allowed to hug you?" I asked carefully, giving him time to think about it.

His eyes focused on our interlocked hands as he tried to get words out while gasping for air.
"Please-" he cried. "I need you".

Without the slightest hesitation, I pulled my boy closer to my chest, holding him tightly. His hands grasped onto my back as he continued choking on the lack of air. My heart shattered into a million pieces when he spoke up again, repeating the words "i'm sorry" over and over again.

panic attack over

It was fifteen minutes full of soft hugs and reassuring whispers when Dream finally slumped down in my arms, head now resting on my lap as he curled up.

"I'm ruining it" he mumbled. "it's the second day and i'm already ruining it".
I still had no idea what he was on about and decided to finally ask.

"What do you mean?" I whispered, scared to say the least. Our other conversations that had started like this never ended well...

He looked at me with big eyes before he pointed at the mess we were sitting in. "I can't go" he croaked, tears continuing to drop onto his hoodie until he finally explained. "I- fuck George how am I supposed to cover it up?"

My heart felt like it dropped into my stomach as I realized what was going on. "Dream I-" I tried to somehow explain that in no universe he would have to be ashamed of it but he interrupted me.

"No George- I'm sorry but you don't understand this... people... don't understand" he quietly said, voice thin as he pulled his hands away. "I can't handle everyone staring. God Tommy is a kid he shouldn't- It's- i don't know... what if I trigger someone? What if someone thinks I'm doing it for attention or-" he continued to ramble but his words were stopped by a short kiss I placed onto his lips.