Fuck! I am so gay!

Mr. Sen and I(Part: 3)

I pick myself up and try to find any cut on my elbow. There are a few and it hurts. A lot. But. How? I look up and see some of my classmates in front of me. They pushed me. I am not in a mood to put on a fight because I can see many of them. I am definitely loosing this time. So I try to pass them without paying much attention. One of them try to stop me and pushed me back with his hands   I try to be cool and not to say anything. And. The bell rang. I thank god for this precious gift and for being on my side. But was he really though ?
      I get back to my class and try to concentrate. But I can't. It's the history class but I am in the chemistry with Sen. 'It was good' I think. I mean I wanna have it every single day. I feel a part of me wants to face the reality but I just can't. All I know is I can't go though it. Maybe something is really wrong with my eyes! Or with me!
       Coming back to home, I bought two marshmallows. One for me and one for Ayush. He is my best friend. We are like the bestest best friend ever. He is hella supportive and he is cute too. He stays next to my house and it takes one minute and thirty two seconds to reach his house. It's like we stay together. Both of his parents work so he comes to my house and we spend all the day together and when it's night, to goes back home. But we have stayed a lot of nights together. And we have kissed once and we both enjoyed it. A lot.
      We are walking on the footpath and. And. I see two guys walking. They are so into each other and they kiss. This isn't happening! But. Why am I bothered so much? I look at Ayush and he is so cool about it. I try to think what to do. I took his hand and he looked at me. And I realise I am freaking out. I squeeze his hand and hold it tight and drag him and we pass the couple. We reached home and we waved each other back.
          In bed, I am with him. He is softer and I wrap my hands around. But he is whiter, shorter, lighter. But I can hug him now. But I do now smell his oh-so-refreshing breath. His heart doesn't beat. I kiss his but I don't feel the moisture. And suddenly. I realise it's my pillow. I am so bad. He is my teacher   I should not be thinking about all these. But I can't help it.
    My dinner is served and I try to finish it as soon as possible. That's because I hate my parents. They are so unnecessarily rude to me. Don't sit like that! Don't talk like that! Don't walk like that! Don't breathe like that! I get in my room and lock the door. Suddenly the phone rings and I pick it up. It was Ayush. We talk for an hour and I tell him every single thing happened in the school. He was thrilled. We both were tired so we hung up. And I. I.......