[ENG] Thundercloud Rainstorm (BOOK 1)

9

The hook that suddenly flew in was heavy. My finger, which had been subconsciously tapping the table regularly, also stopped at that moment.

Il-jo, who had his eyes lowered, slowly raised his head and was surprised to see my expression. what did i do I just stared at him with my chin clenched. I didn't do anything other than that. 

“….” 

“….” 

While I didn't say anything, Il-jo started showing his nervousness all over his body. He lowered his eyes and avoided my gaze, then coughed in vain, and finally pulled out a piece of tissue from the table and started rubbing it.

He folded it in half, then in half again, and put the tissue together until he couldn't fold it any more. Maybe he thought I'd react. 

“… are you mad?" In the end, it was Il-jo that spoke first. As if those words were a signal, I relaxed my pose that look like a frozen statue before and stroked my chin. 

"Well…why should I be angry?” 

“No, I’m glad if you're not… But why are you glaring at me?” 

“If I'm not smile,then I'm mad? My face normally look like this.” 

Il-jo listened carefully. He was looking at my face again, confused as to whether it was real or not. Being conscious of my gaze, he covered his lips with the hand that had been resting on his chin for no reason. I found out that a girlfriend I met in college told me that the lips with sharp curves for a man stand out quite a bit. I didn't know this would work for men too.

Anyway, the reason I have a habit of smiling with my eyes is because of the impression that if I don't smile, I'm will be easily misunderstood.

I might have looked angry because I felt like I didn't need to put on an external smile in front of 

“What you just said is true. If you don't know, ask your parents. When I have nothing to do in my social life, I usually have this face.” 

“… … .” 

“And I’m not mad. I'm not get mad about that."

Truthfully, it's true that I was a little pissed off, but it was because I instantly felt 'the guy is going ahead of me'. a subtle feeling as if the sequence is upside down. I had forgotten that this guy was surprisingly capable of self-objectification. If a guy who treated me like a complete fool gives the same opinion as me, I don't want to admit that we're on the same level, so I instinctively want to oppose it. 

And at this time, a human whose reason does not work is an idiot. In fact, if you have a brain, you should be able to accept the truths as right before you demean the speaker. If this long sentence is shortened, it becomes 'I don't get angry when I say the right thing.' And at this moment, I admitted only from my heart. The fact that I was holding a childish act to Il-jo a while ago. 

In fact, contrary to what I told Il-jo, yesterday's date didn't go well. Maybe this morning, I could have woken up in bed with her in the same blanket as her, but the reason the plan failed... because I can't get it up. In an awkward atmosphere, Instead of taking her home by my car, I seeing her off by taxi instead. And I thought as we parted. To continue this mood again, it will take more energy than I have put in so far. And if I get exhausted before I put that much energy into it, the relationship will probably just cool off without progress.