It was because of her that I found myself. My passion. My purpose. Even with her baggage she gave me a reason. Her and her child brought life to me. She saw through my scars, then my pain, and she helped me find the little boy who just needed a chan...
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May 9, 2022
"Calm down Manii," he stressed with wide eyes.
"What do you mean? I am calm." I told myself.
Truth of the matter, I wasn't, but a little white lie doesn't hurt anyone.
"You are not." He said handling me a bottle of water.
"Well be completely honest. Do you think I'm going to pass?" I asked him quickly after a sip.
I think I've inherited the power to stress everyone around me out because I'm stressing. I promise it's not intentional though.
"I know you can. But if you're going to sit here and stress and zone out here and in the test, then we been go ahead and go home." Conner told me bluntly.
Deep down, I knew he was right, so I took a deep breath and tried to refocus myself. Conner has been my go to tutor since freshman year. Even though he doesn't necessarily know everything that happened in these last four years, he's most definitely been a guide through all my trials and tribulations.
"I know, I just can't fail." I told him before looking down.
"Right, so breath, prepare, and let things flow naturally." He said so easily.
"Is not that easy." I told him running my hand through my hair.
"Especially when you don't let it be."
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After my little tutoring session. I drove to Mama T's while letting the thought roam through my head without letting them completely distract me from driving.
It's the week before hell weeks and I'm stressed. Well, stressed is an understatement. I'm literally running around like a banshee because I'm stressing over stressing. Typically, I'm not a worrier. I always have my shit together and I have faith, so when I do stress, it's an overtaking emotion. And quite frankly, it scares me.
I totally understand why I'm stressing, I just don't know why I'm overly stressing. This entire journey has been complete utter hell. I push so many things off and sacrifice so many things that I don't really have time to feel the repercussions. I just don't want one of those repercussions to be me not graduating.
