Stars in the Dark

Chapter Four

The sky was too bright; the happiness that it exuded did not match the inner state of Estelle's mind. Her brain has been in a confused fog since the incident three days ago. How could her picture-perfect world fall apart so quick? Was she just stupid to not realize how bad things have gotten? Estelle let out a big sigh as she stared out the office window, slowly rubbing her arm, sore from where Dom had grabbed her. "I was thinking we go to that bar I visited last week for our girls night. It has several hot men who look rough, tattoos, charming" Chrissy stated cheerly as she set down a matcha tea on Estelle's desk.

"I'm not sure hot men is the answer to my problems right now; alcohol for sure though" Estelle replied, taking a sip of the tea, not looking at her friend.

"You've been with the bastard for so long, you need the reminder that there are hot men out there DYING to have a piece of that hot mentally ill Estelle ass"

"I'm not sure mentally ill is a quality men want in a partner" Estelle responded, giving Chrissy a judgmental look.

"Sure it is! It adds spice, especially in bed" Chrissy said with a wink.

Estelle couldn't help but let out a giggle at her best friend's antics. Chrissy seemed pleased with the smile on Estelle's face and sauntered back to her desk on the opposite side of the office space. Estelle wondered if she could be ready to at least dabble in men again, maybe just for fun. She still had not broken up with Dom; the thought of talking to him made her terrified. She did not feel right being with another man, even for a one-night stand, until she was officially single. Dominic may have royally messed up, but she still loved him, and he deserved the respect of not being cheated on.

She stared at her computer screen, the email she was supposed to reply to sat opened on her desktop, just a greeting typed in the response so far. It has been sitting there for the last half hour but she couldn't get her brain to be clear enough to make a coherent response. She sighed and did her best, putting her all into finishing her days work. She could not lose her job on top of her boyfriend. That would send her into a spiral she had not had for years. 

~

As the end of the week quickly approached, panic was beginning to set in for Estelle. She had not yet talked to Dominic. He had sent her countless messages begging for her to talk to him so he could explain it all, but she knew nothing he could tell her would change her mind about what she was about to do. He left a scar on her heart; the love she had tarnished by the fear he had left the moment his hand connected with her skin.

Her boss noticed how differently Estelle had been acting so she was given the day off so she could deal with her issues. She had no plans on dealing with her issues until after being three shots in at a bar. It was the only time she would have enough courage to face her soon to be ex-boyfriend. Friday, designated girls' night, was tomorrow. Chrissy had been talking non-stop about how they will have so much fun drunk wandering the town. Estelle was excited to finally participate in having a social life, but she was not to the level Chrissy was. Estelle was so anxious about going out that even her anxiety medications could not help her. She had not dressed in her skimpy tight dresses for years; she wasn't even sure if they fit anymore. She had lived her life being the perfect girlfriend and employee, playing life safe. The thought of stepping out and drinking until she barely could walk with just Chrissy by her side terrified yet excited her.

Her phone buzzed; fear crept in that it was yet another pleading text from Dominic. Luckily it was just Chrissy talking about what they will wear for tomorrow night. She was sending photos for inspiration of dark, smoky makeup and skimpy dresses with cut outs. Something slutty but still with an air of class because they were "classy whores" as Chrissy put it. Estelle knew she had the perfect dress, she wore it to her friends twenty first birthday back in college, it might be a bit small, but she was sure she could squeeze in with out breaking it or herself. She glanced towards to closet from her couch, imagining the dress shoved in the back crevice of her closet, lonely and abandoned. She couldn't bare to leave it behind because she loved it, but she had not yet been able to bring herself to wear it again. It didn't help that Dominic hated when she wore things like that; he wanted his girlfriend to look put together and wife material.