crush ∣∣ chanlix

final

[crossposted on ao3!]

My brain kind of short circuited during Chan's room and this fic was born rather spontaneous. Also my first fic in this fandom even though I wanted to write them for AGES now *sigh*

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It's just past midnight when Felix receives the notification that Chan is going live on vlive.

He's laying in his bed, tired from today's schedule but not that tired that he can actually fall asleep yet. He's been scrolling through TikTok, trying to find new funny trends he could persuade Hyunjin in to try with him or even the others. Eventually he taps on the app notification and is greeted the image of his smiling leader, already talking to Stay and explaining why he is going live so late. Their schedule really isn't giving them all much free time so it's even more admirable that Chan still finds the time to host his weekly live. Even when Felix wishes that the other man would at least try to wind down for once and not push his exhaustion to its limits.

It's been quite a while since Felix last watched Chan's room, the other times he was either too exhausted to gather the strength to tune in, or he was busy talking to Stay on bubble, or he found himself in the dorm's living room, joining Jeongin and Seungmin at a movie marathon.

Propping his phone up against one of his many pillows, he settles more comfortable under the covers and listens to the older's soft voice filling the otherwise quiet room. Everyone else has retired to their own room pretty early tonight, knowing fully well that tomorrow is filled with yet another hectic schedule.

The Chan on screen reads out the comment of telling JYP that the fan loves him and Felix can't help but chuckle at the other's reaction. He reaches for his phone, fingers hovering over the chat, thinking about maybe joining in for the fun of commenting, just to give Stay a little interaction. He has already typed out a fun reply when Chan suddenly reacts to another comment he saw flying by and it makes Felix stop.

"Oh! I saw a really cute question," Chan exclaims as he tries to scroll through the stream of comments to find the specific one again.

"'Chan, I need your help. How do I talk to my crush without, you know, having a hard time' uhm," he reads out loud, his features slipping into his more thoughtful persona.

Now why does Felix's heart start to beat faster, as if this indeed cute and purely innocent question has a more personal impact on him?

"I mean it takes courage and you need to be uhm prepared for like the results? Ah no, not results like...you need to have your feelings set and your mindset set to be ready for rejection, like you never know what can happen. I mean, like you know, it could be acceptance or rejection, like a 50/50 chance, right?" Chan tumbles his way through an explanation that is so Chan, making those tiny gestures with his hands to underline the point he's trying to make.

The typed-out message in the chat is forgotten as Felix pulls his fingers away, too fixed on what the older is saying, or rather trying to express. Because it kind of feels like he is talking out of experience? Or maybe Felix's brain just thinks he does, as the hopeless romantic that he is.