CAMILAS POV
here we are a week after that live and everyone's still making edits of me and jaden, id be lying if i said they aren't cute. i mean their definitely adorable, but at the same time i just met him. yes, he's attractive but as of right now we're friends. i don't have time to worry about someone else.
my mom hasn't come home yet and i'm starting to worry, i want to report her missing but then everyone on the internet will throw shade because she left me alone for 3 weeks. it doesn't matter to me i'm used to it but i hate being lonely, it's my worst fear as i've mentioned a million times. you guys are probably sick of my endless ranting, maybe your not, maybe you like it because sometimes when you know other people are lonely like you it makes you feel a lot better.
jaden and i have been tagged in so many edits, it's getting annoying. the boys won't stop teasing us about how jaden looks at me, i mean he was very interested in what i was saying. it's kind of odd, but i was talking about new york and new york is a very interesting topic.
i've never met anyone quite like jaden, he's very sincere. he always try's to make sure i'm feeling alright and him and jayla are pretty much keeping me on my toes at this point.
before i met them i felt like i was hopelessly drowning in a ocean of my own sorrow, now i have jaden and jayla, jaylas like my boat and jadens my paddle. their steering me out of this very dark pool of water that i just couldn't seem to escape before.
i keep having this dream, i wake up at about 4am every night and hear my moms arguing. but of course when i actually wake up, neither of them are here. julia's still dead, and lindsay's still missing.
i haven't told my friends about my dreams yet, there's a lot of them. sometimes it's that same dream over and over and at other times it switches up.
you've been reading this page for about two minutes now, and you haven't yet left my thoughts to see what im actually doing.
well if you were wondering, im actually home alone sitting in my kitchen, in a chair at an empty table. just me and my thoughts, it's been like this for years. just me and my thoughts.
but this time i had someone i could call, do i call him?
i know your screaming at me
'CALL HIM CAM"
but i can't keep relying on jaden and jayla to solve all my problems.
maybe i can take a shower, maybe that'll help.
i lugged myself out of the chair and walked to my moms bathroom.
i turned the water on before taking my clothes off and hoping in.
i sat down with my knees to my chest as the water hit my body.
here i am once again feeling like im floating, floating in a pool of my own sorrows.
i laid my head against the wall of the shower, warm tears began to fill my eyes.
and before i could stop them, they fell. now i don't usually cry it's not my scene but i can't help it. im alone, just me.
i heard soft knocking on the front door, before it was swung open.
it's either jaden or jayla, i haven't spoke to either in a couple of days.
my suspicions were confirmed when i heard jaden yell my name.
a part of me wants to yell back and tell him im okay, but the other part of me knows that if i do my crying will be heard and he'll be worried.
so i just sit back as he yells for me.
"camila" he spoke "cam please i know your here" he yelled
"im fine" i yelled
