about to play my ace

Not believing

"Tyler Saunders?"

"We're his family." My dad said, turning toward the doctor.

Brad took my hand in his. We were both afraid to hear the news, even if it ended up being good news.

The doctor came over to us.
"During Tyler's tests, we found a tumor. It was removed in surgery and was caught very early. He is extremely lucky. Regular appointments will be scheduled to ensure it doesn't come back. He also has temporary amnesia from hitting his head. He needs to stay overnight and we'll determine whether he can go home tomorrow or if he needs to stay longer. You can visit him now, but family only."

"I'm not going in without you." I told Brad.

"Family only, Claire."

"They don't know you aren't our brother. We can pretend to be triplets. Come on."

"I'm coming."

Nothing is worse than hearing your twin isn't healthy. To me, anyway. When I walked through the door and saw Tyler with tubes in him and that he was hooked up to a machine, I couldn't breathe.

"Hey Tyler." I said, quietly.

"Who's Tyler?" He asked.

"You are." I said, the lump in my throat was clearly heard when I spoke.

"Mom, Dad, can Brad, Tyler and I have a few minutes alone? I'm sorry..."

"Of course, honey." They shut the door on their way out.

"If I'm Tyler, who are you?" He asked. I tried my hardest not to cry.

"I'm your sister, Claire. We're twins."

"Oh. Is he my twin too?"

"No, that's Brad, he--"

"So we aren't related to him?"

"No..." What is this about?

"Can I guess why he is here?"

"Knock yourself out."

"I did, that's why I'm here. Right?"

"Shit, Tyler, I meant yes. You can guess why he is here."

"Oh. Okay. Is he my boyfriend?"

"What?"

"You like guys?"

"I don't remember. I guess that's not why he's here, though."

"Do you remember anything?"

"I remember Brad. I remember a little kid... what was his name?"

"Joey?"

"Yeah! He's my brother, right?"

"Yes. You didn't remember me?"

"No. Sorry." After hearing him say that, I couldn't take it. He remembers Brad and Joey, but not his twin. I ran out of the room. I didn't want anyone to come after me. Brad followed me out of the hospital.

"Claire, what's wrong?"

"What's wrong?! What's wrong is that my twin brother doesn't know who I am! He is attracted to you and I didn't know he was gay!" I yelled. "He didn't tell me, he doesn't trust me. He could have died... and...I can't do this." I said, calmly. I wasn't going to yell anymore.

"You can't do what?"

"This. Us. Not right now, at least. I'm sorry. If my brother still has feelings for you after he remembers everything, I don't want to do this to him. I'm not saying you are gay and I'm not saying you aren't, but I can't date you knowing he wants to. It's not fair."

"I need to kiss you one more time before I stop being your boyfriend."

"Okay." I agreed.

He looked into my eyes, put his hand on my cheek, and leaned in. I didn't pull away, instead I put my arms around his neck and my hands in his hair. I wish this kiss never ends. All good things; however, must come to an end.

"What do we do about Tyler?"

"I don't know. You can't ignore him until the amnesia wears off. He'll probably still have feelings for you."

"I don't think I'm gay, though. I like girls, I like you."

"I know. I didn't say you were. I just don't want Tyler to get mad."

"What if he tries to kiss me or something?"

"I don't know. That's up to you."

•••
One week later (Tyler's p.o.v.)

Brad is still staying with us. He seems to be avoiding me. I hope he doesn't hate me because I thought he was my boyfriend. I need to clear the air with him.

I walked down to the basement, he was living there. I wish I remembered more about myself.

"Brad?" I asked the seemingly empty basement.

"I'm in here." He called, I followed the sound of his voice into the bedroom.

"We need to talk."

"Okay, about what?"

"Are you mad at me because I thought we were going out?"

"I'm not mad at you."

"I feel like you are ignoring me. Did I do something wrong?"

"No, I just don't think I have the same feelings for you that you have for me. I don't want to lead you on or anything."

"Can we be friends?" I don't want to be friend-zoned, but it's better than invisible.

"We are friends."

"Sorry, I guess I forgot."

"It's okay. Do you want to watch a movie?"

"Okay."

"Which one do you want to watch?"

"I don't know." I said, realizing I had no clue what movies I like or what movies we can watch. I don't even remember if I like movies.

"Brad, do I like movies?"

"I'll have you answer that question yourself after we watch one."

We watched one called Holes, which was about digging holes in a desert that used to be a lake and I didn't understand it much, but it was good I guess.

"Did you like it?"

"I didn't understand it, really."

"That's okay."

"I wish I remembered things. I feel like a stranger in my own house. I don't want to call somebody the wrong name, or be asked to take out the trash and not know where it goes. I feel like Claire hates me and Joey doesn't know that I don't remember things like what I like on my pizza. I'm not even sure that I like pizza." I started crying somewhere during all of that.

"Tyler, I know it's scary. When I moved to Westbrook, I didn't know anybody or where places were. I'm here for you, okay?"

"Brad, can I ask you something?"

"Y-yeah." He said, hesitantly.

"Never mind." I said, pushing down the urge to snuggle with him while watching another movie.