Bad Habits

chapter two: back to black

cw: bucky being a horny asshole. that's it. that's the warning.
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7 Years Ago

"Lilly?! You said you would take me to the park! I'm gonna tell my mom!" Becca looks for the older girl, swinging open the doors of the apartment with as much force as her skinny eleven year old arms can muster. She stomps her feet in frustration, bunching her fists at her side.

"LILLY!" Rebecca screams as she runs down the hall.

Lilly starts giggling from her spot under the dining room table, making Bucky put his hand over her mouth. The two older kids are hidden by the tablecloth that almost reaches the floor. She licks his palm.

"Ew, gross!" Bucky whispers, yanking his hand from her mouth with a scowl.

At 14, Bucky can barely fold his gangly body into their hiding spot anymore, his knees up against his chest. Lilly sits similarly, the side of her leg almost touching his.

"Lil, I think we gotta find a new spot to hide. My back can't take this."

"Buck, are you fourteen? Or 104?" Lilly grins up at him. He's much taller than her now, made up of all arms and legs.

"Shut up." He shoves her shoulder. She shoves him back, laughing even harder when he hits his head on the underside of the table. He growls at her, his voice cracking a little, which makes it even worse. Tears are streaming down her pale face.

"Alright, I'm out of here."

Bucky goes to crawl out, but Lilly grabs his hand. He looks down at it, frozen.

Bucky used to grab her hand all the time when they were little, pulling Lilly wherever he wanted to go. Then Bucky's dad told him that he needed to stop hanging around Lilly so much, that they were getting too old to be alone together all the time. Bucky didn't understand why until he started to notice how nice her hair smelled or how pretty the freckles were that were spread across her nose and cheeks. He hasn't held Lilly's hand since.

"Bucky, I was kidding, geez. Don't go."

The last part she says with a whisper. Lilly never gets to see Bucky any more. Bucky and Lilly used to go to the same elementary school, Lilly's mom would drop her off with the Barnes kids. She would make payments on the tuition so that Lilly could have the best and still be able to see her childhood friends. This year, Bucky started going to a prep school that her mom can't afford. Then Mrs. Barnes signed him up for all these lessons; piano, lacrosse, even French. When Lilly comes with her mom to work on the weekends, Bucky is never there.

Bucky drops back down, sitting a little closer to Lilly than he was before. He doesn't let go of her hand. Lilly tangles her fingers in his, facing back in the direction of where Becca ran off. Bucky sees the corners of her mouth turn up a little as she bites back a smile.

"Okay, I'll stay. For you."

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Present Day

After his encounter with Lilly, Bucky is agitated.

She's always been the only one to get under his skin, so it gave Bucky immense satisfaction this morning to return the favor. Especially when Lilly looks so fucking hot when she's mad.

So he's going to one of the few places where he can actually relax.

Bucky speeds down Fifth Avenue in his BMW, flying through yellow lights as they turn red. The trip into Harlem is about 15 minutes, but it feels a lot shorter when his brain is all over the place. It's one of those drives Bucky makes without even thinking, no matter how much time passes.