Bad Habits

chapter nine: only angel

a/n: my horny fever dream is back, y'all! sorry for the delay, but I was stuck for a hot minute. anyhow, let's get on with the good stuff.

includes: smut (oral f receiving), exhibitionism, voyeurism, dirty talk, Steve and Bucky being menaces, mentions of pregnancy and abortion, infidelity

Four years ago

The bell for class echoes loudly through the library as Lilly dumps her books onto a nearby table. European history is kicking her ass, but she needs to pass if she wants to earn college credit. It's not the content that bothers her. She's always loved learning about kingdoms, revolutions, and world wars. It's the workload that overwhelms her. This Friday she has a presentation due that she hasn't even started to plan out and it's already Wednesday.

She's deep into the French Revolution, the idea of the lower classes rebelling against an upper crust society that oppressed them for their own gains. It's ironic considering the line of work her mother is in and the circles that her best friends navigate within. A familiar voice floats across the room and Lilly's head snaps up. Steve's long legs carry him over to her nest of books, coffee, and notebooks. He looks good, his school uniform neatly pressed and not a wrinkle to be seen, as always.

"Steve, she whispers, being considerate of the other students working nearby. "What are you doing here?

Steve gives her a soft smile, hanging his book bag on the back of a nearby chair. He sits across from her and rests his elbows on the table. Dark blonde strands of hair fall in his face as he looks at her with those deep blue eyes.

"Believe it or not, I'm skipping class," he replies with a smirk.

Lilly throws her hand to her chest and gasps, her own blue eyes wide.

"Steven Grant Rogers, skipping class? The old man’s right, Barnes really is a bad influence on you."

He huffs out a laugh, resting his chin on his hand. Grabbing a pencil from the table, Steve starts rolling it back and forth across the notebooks gently.

"Actually, I just, uh, wanted to talk to you about what happened. Last weekend. At Bucky's."

Lilly feels her cheeks heat up and starts highlighting parts of a passage on Robespierre. She hasn’t read any of it.

“It's not that big of a deal. We were really high and wanted to have some fun.”

“I know. I mean, I get that,” he replies, shifting nervously in his seat. “But you and Bucky…”

“Buck and I...we aren't anything,” she interrupts. “We’re just messing around. That's all.”

Lilly thinks that if she keeps telling herself that it’s nothing serious, it will be just that. Every passing week she gets closer and closer to going off the deep end and that means having to admit she’s in love with her best friend. Steve continues fidgeting and she drops her eyes down to his.

“Are you okay, Steve?”

A telltale flush creeps up his fair throat and into his cheeks. He swallows, the muscles of his neck flexing.

“Yeah, I, uh, just hadn't thought of you…. like that, before,” Steve whispers before glancing up through his eyelashes at her.

“Does that bother you?”

“No,” he says with a shake of his head, causing more strands of hair to fall in his eyes. “I mean…does it bother you?”

Lilly’s heart starts hammering in her chest as he looks up at her through his eyelashes. It’d be just another lie if she said that she hadn’t thought about him the entire week. The way his lips felt on her neck and the sounds he made in her ears. It was enough to have her in bed at night, clenching her thighs to keep her thoughts and her hands from wandering past the point of no return.