Codependent (Eric coulter x gender neutral reader)

The Understanding

Eventually you let him go, neither of you were sure how long you held onto each other, it felt like an eternity squished into maybe an hour at most. You still sat right next to him, your arm against his, backs propped up to the cold wall. Wanting to ask him what they did to him in there, if it was something new or just a more intense version of what you guys had already been getting. You didn't though, he is a tough and rough person but, in this place, with everything how it is you worried making him relive the memory would be too much on his psyche.

You let your eyes trail down to his hands, which still had a slight tremor to them. It hurt to see so instead you laid your head back and decided to let the memories flow so maybe your body wouldn't notice the ache or cold it was definitely feeling now.

--

"We're never getting out of here are we?" that was the first time you really asked that question, everything was so helpless. For god's sake a Dauntless Leader who literally devoted his life to things like this was getting his ass handed to him every day. That's not normal. The look he had gave you was fierce, a lot fiercer than he treated you anymore. During this time, he still kept his "never say die" attitude, that was an attitude you didn't really see anymore. You got scolded after that question, getting asked things like "How are you ever going to be a dauntless leader with such a weak will?" and statements like "True Dauntless don't give up like that.". 

At the time you couldn't understand him, how he could stare your guy's captures in where you can only assume the eyes are supposed to be. Standing tall now as they drug him away, taking you along only moments later. This was probably your third day in the new medical room, but you were already so used to the walk there that you could do most of it with your eyes unfocused. Only bringing them back into focus when the sound of the keycard would hit your ears, that sound always made your stomach churn because that meant your day of horrors was beginning .

You were so unsure about what the point of any of these "experiments" were for. Where they just for this fucker to be able to get off on pushing someone closer to the brink every day? Or was there actually a purpose, were you the guineapig for some unknown scientifical breakthrough? You never answered that one, science and medical stuff wasn't your thing. So, you certainly weren't gonna be able to piece it together in your head. 

Today was one of the worst operations you would have to keep going through. The figure had put these sticky things connected to wires on your head, the wired connected to a monitor which showed what you could only assume to be your brain activity. You were too focused on the monitor that you didn't have time to mentally prepare for something to be stabbed into your arm, you let out a yelp as you looked down at your arm and watched as some sort of liquid was injected in. "What is that?" you asked in a panicked voice "Hey what the fuck is that?". The figure ignored you and you watched him as he sat the vial down, staring at the monitor. You weren't sure what was supposed to be happening until slowly, then all at once your arm felt like it was catching on fire from the inside out. 

The pain shocked you so much that a noise couldn't even escape, then it started to spread, first all the way up your arm to your shoulder, then your head and chest, then torso and legs. Everything was such an intense burning, like someone took a red hot cast iron and smashed it against the entire inside of your body. Tears flowed down your face your back arched as your mouth sat open, you really couldn't process the pain enough to make one single sound. But you could hear writing noises, when you looked over the face was watching the monitor, which was going crazy with data. His pen was scribbling onto a notepad, whatever reaction he wanted from this little procedure, looks like he got it.

After a few minutes of that he glanced over at you, and you swear you saw his shoulders moving like they were now laughing. Laughing at your agony. If you had any capability to kill him right then and there, you would of, no hesitation. Unfortunately, you didn't have that chance. It was hours of lying there in pain, while he poked and prodded at you. Over time the burning sensation did die down, but by that time your nerves were shot to hell and back. You wanted to coat your entire being in aloe vera, thinking it would help. 

You had to be carried back again that day, days with that liquid were the only days you were grateful for the freezing cold floors. You had expected Eric to be in the same shape he usually is in, black and blue but overall, in upright position. But instead, you came back to an empty cell, it would be quite a bit more time before they drug him through that big metal door. When they did though it took one look at him to know he finally had the new room. His eyes were bloodshot, and his skin was so pale yet vieny. 

He was collapsed next to you, breathing heavily, it looked like his body was too heavy for itself right now. When he finally could speak, he slowly told you about the horrors he faced.

---

You jolted yourself awake, taking a moment to yourself before opening your eyes, when you did open them you saw Eric looking at you out of the corner of your eye. When you turned your head to him, stomach twisting, he had his usually stern expression but with a mix of worry and softness. You just sighed quietly and let your head fall to his shoulder, just weeks ago if you tried to be a quarter as physical with him, he probably would of shoved you off and asked you what the fuck you thought you were doing, but so much is different now.

You felt him lean a little towards you, giving you more of a support. A creaky rusty sound suddenly came from the door and your stomach lurched, but it was just someone coming in with two metal trays and tossed them to the ground, small portions of absolute slop splattering. This is what you both had come to know as food, it was disgusting, and hardly enough to give either of you required sustenance to move. That didn't stop from the hunger pains in your stomach from growing at the sight of it. You both moved slowly, trying not to strain anything that was already in pain. Eric was the first to reach the trays and pulled them back to you both, handing you one, you noticed it was the one with more on it. 

You sighed to yourself, he always did that anymore, making sure you had more to eat. In any other context it would be a sweet gesture, but he was much bigger than you and should be the one to get more to eat. That being said you didn't argue with him, last time you tried you got a go to hell look from him.

You two slowly ate your slop, hunger pains being soothed but not completely gotten rid of. As if they sensed you two finishing your food your two figures stepped into the room, your face fell completely when you saw both of them reaching towards Eric again. No no no no, he is just getting okay again after his last day, no no they can't do this. "NO!" escaped your mouth before you could think, and you let yourself lunge and fall in front of them. Neither of them expected that and they looked down at you. "No. He can't handle any of that yet. It's my turn, leave him alone" you said, starring at them with nothing but determination in your eyes.

It was too much on him and if he died because they pushed him too far you knew you wouldn't be far behind. The two figures shared a glance before reaching down and picking you up by your arms, thank god. Two turned your head back to Eric as you were dragged away, his face was in shock, its like he wanted to stop them but couldn't make his voice work.

You expected to be taken to your room but instead they took you the opposite way. The way they usually take Eric, took his place, guess it makes sense they would take you to his room. You wondered if it was like yours, what the figure lurking in there would be like. 

You just hoped you doing this would give Eric enough time to get better.