Hope for the Hopeless :: Finan the Agile

Chapter 11

Finan awoke warm and soft. The sun was still trying to crest the earth, and he could hear the birds encouraging it.

Sometime in the night, Síofra had returned. Finan had found his way to her back, and Æthelstan had burrowed into her front. She was wedged tightly between them, Finan's breath tickling her neck and Æthelstan's hair making her nose twitch. Finan relished in the sight of them.

He knew he had joked with Uhtred and the others about settling down and finding a woman, but he never thought that a Scottish whirlwind of a girl would steal his heart so quickly. For that is what she had done. Like the shadow walkers Uhtred spoke of, Síofra had whisked into his life and stolen the beating organ in his chest, and if he was honest, he did not want it back.

When he had first spotted her in the window when they went to get the children, he thought he had been seeing things. Then, as she appeared from the shadows, he thought of a tale his mother had told him as a boy.

It was of an Aos sí princess, the daughter of the Fae king and a fallen angel and said to be the most beautiful and caring fairie to have ever lived. She was captured by men and forced to do their bidding. Then, as many do when they had encountered the Fae, their leader had fallen in love with her, allowing her to return to her world with the promise that she would visit him when she emerged from the mounds at night.

Síofra had stunned him with her beauty, a mass of dark curls and the greenest eyes he had ever seen. But then he had noticed the blue markings on her skin, distinguishing her as a Scot. Learning that she was King Cináeda's daughter, Finan couldn't help but think his first impression of her was closer to the truth than he had ever imagined; she had said herself that her life had not been her own while in his house.

Her breakdown at the river had thrown him. He had thought he hurt her, until he had seen her back. The questions throwing themselves around in his mind almost physically hurt, but he had held her, knowing it wasn't the right time. She had fit so perfectly against him. He did not want to startle her away, especially in the state she had been in.

Finan had been completely charmed as she and Æthelstan had formed a bond. She was a nurturing soul, and the boy had latched onto her as they had gotten further into their journey to Ceaster. She was fierce and loyal and would do anything to ensure the safety of the children. He had already known it, but her offering to stall the Mercian guard so they had more time only proved it more.

Æthelstan asking them both to be his parents had surprised Finan. He had joked about them being an odd family, but the more he thought about it, the more he wanted it to be a reality. He had even dreamed about it that night, despite the shadow of his past still lurking over his shoulder.

Finan tightened his grip on the sleeping woman in his arms, remembering the way she had felt in his dream. Pliant and content with him and Æthelstan.

He remembered the wonder in her eyes as he had told her of Eithne. As he told her the sordid tale, she had said just the right thing to absolve him of his immediate guilt. The thought that he had been a source of hope for this strong and capable woman astounded Finan. Síofra had a habit of surprising him, but for her to know of his greatest sin and see it as admirable, holding on to the story for so long, Finan knew there was a higher hand at work.

What he didn't know was why she seemed to be fighting it so hard. One minute, she would look at him and he knew she shared his feelings. The next, she would be distancing herself from him, doing everything but outright leaving. He wanted to know why, but he did not want to scare her away. Also, if Uhtred was able to secure Ælfwynn's safety, Síofra might leave anyway. Finan hoped to God she did not.