I'm really stuck between staying and leaving.
Most of the time I just ghost when I know to myself that :
'I'll just be another misunderstood person anyway and my contribution isn't enough' or
'Nah, I'm not needed here anymore, I'm no big shot' or
'Maybe I'm expecting someone to do the things I do for them,' or
'I just don't want people getting fed out of me so, I'd shut myself in a room where I could suffocate myself from these thoughts that stirs my emotions upside down.'
Neither of those thoughts really made sense sometimes, for I'm the embodiment of irony. I want to stay because that's my purpose, I want to leave because I'm not happy anymore. I am surviving, but I'm no longer happy.
Most of the time I just shut up because I've been used to getting myself back together after breaking apart. Some might say 'Hey, it's all in your head, get a grip and focus.'
What's more heartbreaking, just to do things in favor of other people: I am slowly falling out of love from myself.
It's hard to be tough sometimes. Sometimes they'll say that you're intimadating, overbearing and trying so hard to be recognized for years; then they'd compare you to others who received recognition in just months.
What is growth if you stuck a hamster in a cage of routine?
What is popularity if all you see is beauty, fashion and fame?
What do new bloods have that you don't see with old blood?
What is the meaning of hierarchy, if you only select whom you're most favored to be?
What is a team, if you leave one out just because he/she is different?
What is respect, dedication, passion and commitment if it is barely noticed by the eyes who only see a plain white canvas?
What else should I give to prove myself, if I'm not privileged of having a chance?
They say there's no right or wrong answer, but from your answer you'll be judged.
A lot may see you, but not everyone will like you.
People keep saying 'Be you', but Society always sort what's desirable and set aside what's not.
I am preserving Me, from the society that keeps me doubting my worth.
YOU ARE READING
Random Thoughts : Voices in her Head
RandomA COLLECTION OF RANDOM THOUGHTS FROM THE YOURS TRULY. So these are my authentic blog post. Don't judge, writing my thoughts out is my therapy. [PUBLISHED IN WATTPAD ONLY]
