Beneath the Shadowlanders

Chapter Thirty-Seven: Calista

We huddle in the shelter, waiting, praying the soldiers pass us by. Praying they don't spot Nashua as he carries our message of peace to Raoul. Praying that Raoul is receptive and willing. The tension in the room is palpable and claustrophobic.

Around noon, Gabriel starts skimming through the shelves of food along the far wall, pulling out five cans and passing them out to each of us. I end up with a can of chicken noodle soup that I puncture with my knife and drink greedily. I'm so hungry, I don't even care that it's cold and slimy.

My compatriots guzzle their food just as voraciously – we haven't eaten in almost 24 hours – leaving a line of empty cans strewn across the middle of the floor in front of us. Genevieve gathers them up and sets them in a pile near the small sink before returning to our huddled circle.

"What if the soldiers spot him?" Gabe asks my father. "Will Nashua kill them?"

"I don't think so," he answers. "I think knowing that peace is on the horizon, he would avoid anything that might hinder it." He sounds less sure than I would like.

"But what if they attack him first?"

"Well, then, would you blame them?" he exclaims, almost angrily. Then, calmer, "but still, no, I think he would do anything he can to preserve our chance at a peaceful resolution. Besides, he knows that if he kills any of them, their shadow may die, too. There have been enough casualties in this war already. There's no need to add to the count. On either side."

Gabe nods and leans back into a pile of pillows. He still doesn't seem quite satisfied, but he lets the matter rest, nonetheless.

Finally, with no one else saying anything, and with the tension too heavy to bear, I can't hold it in any longer. "Dad, why didn't you ever come home?" I ask, tentatively.

He sighs. "I knew this question was coming." He moves to sit by me, gesturing for my brother to join us. He refuses, and my dad shrugs, continuing. "I was hoping to have this conversation with your sister, as well. Where is Bee?" he asks.

"Still in the Underland," Orion replies coldly.

"I see," dad acknowledges. He takes a deep breath. "The truth is, I wanted to come home. Hell, after it first happened, I tried to come home, but with my shadow, they wouldn't let me through the gate. Understandably so," he admits. "They didn't want to take the chance that I might be under my shadow's control, or that this might be some kind of trick – some new evolution of the shadows, using the essences of the people they've stolen."

Orion leans in, gears turning in his head. "Wait, you mean they knew you were alive? They've known this whole time?" He's angry, now. "You tried to come home, they knew you tried to come home – they had to – and they never told us?" He stands, pacing the floor furiously. "This is unbelievable!" he declares, throwing his arms up.

"I know, son," dad responds sadly realization dawning on his face, as well. "I should have known they wouldn't notify you – that they would just let you believe I was dead. I'm so sorry I didn't fight harder." He takes my hand in his, rubbing his thumb across my knuckles. He motions for Ri to join us once again, but he's too angry to sit.

"Son, please, you have to understand, it was too dangerous to allow me back into the Underland, they were right. I would have done the same thing. Allowing a shadow into humanity's sanctuary could have had devastating consequences if it had turned out to be a trick."

Orion softens just a tiny bit. "I know, but..." He takes a deep breath. "Dad, I missed you so much." His entire demeanor falls as he collapses into our father, clinging to him for the first time in two years.

"So, what have you been doing, then?" I ask. "Where have you been for the last two years?"

"Well, I've been here, pretty much," he responds. "I mean, not here, obviously, but in the Shadowlands. I've been finding ways to survive on the surface." He smiles. "Honestly, it's been a real help, having a shadow up here. Nashua knows where the other shadows hide, so I didn't wake them, and he knows where it's safe to spend the night. I mostly stayed in abandoned houses while Nashua kept guard and..." he pauses to clear his throat, "...hunted," he finishes discreetly.

"You mean he was out killing people while you were asleep?" Gabriel interrupts, concerned.

"No, not people," dad assures him. "Animals, mostly."

Gabe settles back down into his pillows, his concern satisfied.

Dad rests an arm around my shoulder. "Honestly, I didn't think I'd ever see any of you again," he says with an air of relief in his voice. "I thought I would have to live out my days alone on the surface of an empty planet. Seeing you again..." his eyes sparkle with the tears I know he's trying to hold back. "It's just a little overwhelming," he admits.

Orion and I sit there with our father in silence for a few moments, drinking in our ability to do so, at last. It's a relief none of us thought we would experience ever again. I inhale deeply, burying my face in his chest and taking in the familiar scent of my father. I feel the weight of his arm around me and I swear, even in this crowded bunker, it feels just a little more like home. Like, for the first time since the rebellion started, everything is going to be okay.