Aviva

4:

Nicole
I looked at Aviva who was lying on the bed. How did the happy and carefree Aviva become this. I've always known her to be optimistic even though she was diagnosed with cancer at a very young age. She still lived on with it without stress.

"Nicole?". She said suddenly

"What's wrong? What do you want?"

"Nothing. I only want to tell you that you should not be worried about me. I'll be fine. It's not your fault". She said.

"Ok". I said even though I still believe it is. Both her parents died of cancer and I think she won't have it also? I should have known. I could have averted all the drama. The only hope I had then was that her case is rare and very difficult to discover. That is the only excuse I had but deep down I knew it was my fault. We could have at least maintained it till she clocks twenty. When we discovered that she had CIPA syndrome, we lost all hope that she could live this long because people with CIPA were unable to sweat. They usually die of overheating. Her whole life was a miracle.

"Nicole? Why are you crying?". Aviva asked suddenly making me to jerk up from my chair. I didn't notice she was awake.

"I thought you were sleeping?"

"I'm awake now so tell me why you're crying"

"Oh I am? I didn't notice. Maybe it's because of the anaesthesia. Can you please excuse me I'll be back". I said as i walked out of the ward. Running out will make her worried. "Excuse me,please where is the bathroom?". I asked a nurse who was passing by.

"It's over there she said pointing at the hallway"

"Ok thanks". I said as I walked towards it. Walking into the bathroom I broke down into tears. Memories of how her parents died flashed through my mind.

"Some years ago, approximately twelve years, Aviva's mum died about six months after her husband. The death of her husband was tragic.  He died as a result of an electric shock. Aviva caused the electrocution.  She caused the electric cooker to become electrically unstable.  It wasn't her fault, she was just three. Her father wanted to switch off the cooker and got electrocuted in the process. We knew he was going to die, he had stage IV cancer which meant he was going to die soon but we didn't expect that it was going to be this way, this painful and in a shorter period of time. My ninth birthday was filled with this particular experience.  May his soul rest in peace

After a few weeks, Aviva's mother stopped responding to treatment. The doctors hypothesise that it was as a result of her husband death. She was truly traumatised. She also had cancer and chemotherapy was no longer working. She had less than six months to live. She lived the happiest of her life during that period especially on Aviva's fourth birthday which was luckily before her death. She did not let her husband's death affect her. My sister was a strong woman, unfaltered, unbothered, resilient. I wish she was still alive."

I didn't tell Aviva this story cos she'll continue to blame herself. It was because of her her father got electrocuted. It would have been worse for me to take care of her. My tears didn't stop, it was like my tear gland was connected to an ocean or something.  Maybe it's because I have been bottling up these emotions for a long time. I needed to let it out. I sat where I was motionless for a long time staring at the mirror before me. There is nothing I can do. Aviva is leaving and she is definitely leaving for good. She is fading away slowly, away from me, away from Matt, and away from the rest of the world. "What can I say? Maybe this is how it is meant to be". I mumbled changing my position to lie down on the bathroom floor. "This is where I'm going to sleep". I said to myself. Honestly I had no energy to stand up. I laid down there for a while just listening to my own subtle breaths until I fell asleep. Beautiful sleep, what a relief!