I hate my LA teacher.

introductions

When I woke up in the morning, my roommate was gone. The door was also wide open, did she escape? ALREADY?? AND SHE DIDN'T TAKE ME???

I slowly walked out of the cell, looking to the left and right to make sure no cops would hit me, like a game of crossy road. Too bad, I was already spotted.

I recognized the cop from earlier, he was the one with the crazy heavy country accent. He was waving me down. Shit fuck, what do I do. 

"Uhhm, hi?"

"MA'AM, DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY LAWS YOUR BREAKING JUST BY WAKING UP??" "WHY ARENT YE ALREADY AT THE BREAKFAST TABLES?"

The country man started dragging me towards what I assume was the cafeteria, he was muttering slurs under his breath. 

"Damn liberals..."

OH HELL NO.

"EXCUSE ME SIR, I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I AM THE BIGGEST REPUBLICAN YOU WILL EVER SEE. WHEN MY SON CAME OUT AS homo I IMMEDIATELY CALLED CPS."

The cop looked at me for a second and I could tell he was mad. All gingers faces turn abnormally red when pissed off. To avoid getting my ass rocked, I proceeded to walk to the cafeteria myself.

People talked loudly, ( at this point you would expect me to say something like "I couldn't even hear myself think" however I couldn't put that because I don't think she ever actually thinks ).

Then, a voice louder then all of the other voices yells, "HEY PEDO, OVER HERE!"

Crap, now everyone kno- I MEAN THINKS I'M A PEDO.

I quickly walked over to the table full of women, ignoring people making lewd hand gestures at me. I sat down in a spot beside my roommate and some other lady that was feeling up another woman's-

"So, introductions everybody!" A finger pointed at me, "You go first, since your the new one."

I leaned over into my roommate's ear, the lady feeling up another woman was glaring at me. Was she jealous or something?

"So, what do I say?" She gave me a weird look.

"Just say your name and why you're in here." 

I turned to look at the group.

"So, my name is Mrs., a-a-a-a-nd I got put in prison for showing kids porn..."

"Louder." Said my roommate.

"I-I-I-I-I S-S-SAID I GOT PUT IN PRISON FOR SHOWING KIDS P-P-P-ORN."

Everyone grew quiet. Well except for one woman. Wait, is that a woman? I have never seen a more manly woman than whoever this is.

"Eh that's not that bad, I've done worse." My roommate gave her a dirty look.

"We don't even want you here, Sasha."

Sasha? How is that chick named Sasha? And what could she possibly have done that was worse than me? Even my roomate seemed like she didn't like her so I'm getting worried.

"Well, let me introduce myself. My name is Sasha, I got put in prison for the killing people, kidnapping women, and forcing those women to have BDSM with me or die."

Wait what, that's not what BDSM means. .....WAIT WHAT.

My roommate noticed my surprise and quickly said, "Don't worry, shes not apart of our group. Saying that...."

My roommate punched Sasha so hard that she could have passed out. Nevermind, she totally did. She pointed at the "feeling up" girl and said, "Your turn, Beccy."

Beccy? THE LESBIAN GIRL THAT FUCKED SOMEONE LAST NIGHT?

"Hi, Mrs." She smiled. "My name is Beccy, and I went to prison for a bomb threat at a school."

"Do you remember me?" Huh? Remember her?

She looked sad. She stopped touching the other woman's boob. "Guess not...."

"MY TURN." My head snapped quicker than my husband's night of his death.

"My name is Bucket, if you laugh you die." "I got put in prison for beating my mother to death with a bucket."

Oh cool.

No one else seemed to be talking. "Uhm, what abou-"

"Not relevant to the story." Bucket yelled. What the fuck is she talking about?

"Oh yea, VIEWERS!"

"Sometime soon, we are going to be doing a cross fic with my dear friend @Heather_Walkins ."

"Make sure to check out their stories!"

"See you in two years!"