ଘ 𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐓 ; Hawks

❛ author note ༉‧₊˚✧

Hey guys. I haven't updated in like three months, hope you can forgive me. I'm very busy with school and I also have some personal issues I struggle with. My mental health is kinda wrecked at the moment so that's why I haven't been updating.

I also started working on a new book so that's what has kept me busy. I also have a lot of deadlines that just makes me feel anxious.

Vent up ahead. If you dont want to read it than you can consider this chapter done. Take care! <3

Beginning vent

My motivation for school is gone and I'm currently going through a burn out (since the ending of last school year). A few weeks ago I had midterms and I was already exhausted before it but now I'm wrecked.

It has been a hard year for me since I've been surrounded with a few very toxic people that I can't seem to get rid of.

Going to school every morning makes me feel so anxious because it can either be a good day or a terrible one. I'm so tired and exhausted from trying and trying every time and yet it still isn't good enough.

I've always been insecure about myself and the people I see everyday at school isn't making it any better.

I remember beginning of the school year I would come home crying sometimes because of the stuff that happend in school. One of them was that i was public humiliated by one of my teachers.

This year I feel like I lost a lot of things like friends. Everytime I try to put effort into my friendships I feel like their slipping away through my fingers. They start treating me like I was just some option. As someone who has always been a second option I shouldn't be suprised, but it still hurts like shit. I even confronted my friend about their actions and how it hurts me and you know what they did. They laughed in my face, told me I was being to sensitive and even tried to make me feel more upset and they were just enjoying it.

Nobody treats me with respect and it hurts. I've set bounderies and told them and yet they cross it like my feelings aren't important. I sometimes believe I'm a little to sensitive sometimes haha.

I sometimes feel like i'm invisible. Like sometimes people tell stories of their life to others and as they tell who was their with them they just leave me out of it like i wasn't there when it happend when in fact i was there. This issue has accured two times now and I can't help but overthink it. Also i sometimes get forgotten by teachers like i dont even exist.

I feel like im some sort of glitch sometimes idk.

I also have been feeling so incredibly lonely to the point that it sometimes hurts physically.

I don't know when I'm going to post the next chapter but I'll try and finish it when I have time.

I want to thank you all for all the love and support you've given my book. It truly means so much to me that people enjoy the content I create. I really love it when you all comment on my chapters. This book has 76k reads! It is so insane to me that so many people read this book. I hope life is treating you well, if it isn't I just want you to know that you are stronger than you think. If you struggle, we shall struggle together and support eachother. Feel free to use this chapters comments section to vent, this is a safe zone <3.

I love you so much, don't you ever change. You're perfect just the way you are! :)