All Regret (Isabel Magnolia x Reader)

Now Comes the Rain.

You found yourself tucked away in the middle of the morning, away from the dangers lurking in the vast plains beyond the walls. It was weird in more ways than one. You had been injured before, but this felt different. It felt bad. Really bad. You wanted to know where Isabel was and how she was doing. Your mood went bitter, and you wished your best of luck to the girl you fell for and then prayed to make it back in one piece: no more broken arms or bruised ribs.

"At least I can watch from here," you thought to yourself. "The Long Distance Scouting Formation."

Red flares popped, and green flares gave direction. You watched the colors fly and fizzle, displaying communication without words. You felt the wagon you were on drifting, and you realized that you were being brought away from danger. "This was a great idea!"

For a couple of minutes, it felt like everything would be smooth for the rest of the day—a false glimmer of hope that there would be no significant mistakes. You stretched your back and rolled your neck, enjoying the view of the clouds and the sun, the warmth and pleasant breeze of the wind. And then you felt something cold and wet hit the top of your head. You turn and see a mass of dark clouds. Storm clouds with distant thunder are already cracking far above. A tinge of discomfort washes over you. You hadn't experienced such a dangerous looking storm outside the walls before. You stared at the dark clouds with a sense of awe.

"We were expecting a storm, right? We know the flares will work in this?" You ask the rider of the wagon. She shrugs and tells you to sit tight. You do as you are asked and continue to watch the cloud twirl. Familiar fear boils in the pits of your stomach, and you know exactly why.

It doesn't take long for the gentle shower to turn in to a heavy downpour, you held your hands and bounced your knee. Distant pops from the flares sounded, but you couldn't tell from which direction or why they were going off.

It feels like a hour has passed, and the rain is still coming down. Curses filled your skull, hatred too. "I can't see anything," the driver says, primarily to herself. "I think I lost the others now!" She sends the horse into a blind turn, going in a direction that could have been back towards the walls.

  Out of all the times to get put on the sidelines for injuries...Out of the all the times for a rainstorm... OUT OF ALL THE-

The wagon shifts suddenly and throws you off. Panic spirals from your veins, suddenly turning all your hate into a flurry of intense fear. You roll to a stop, getting covered in mud. Your mind spurs with throbbing pain. Your arm feels wrong again, and your sides burn like there's a hot iron being pressed against it. "Oh, god. Fuck! HEY!"

The wagon slides in the mud, leaving you behind in the storm's chaos. The neighing of horses and the noise of ODM gear hissing whips all around you, but you're organic and weaponless, as vulnerable as a calf. You trek through the mud and park yourself beneath a small pine tree. Where the hell am I? How can I get out of this?

Screams are heard in the mess of the rainstorm, but even as you strain your eyes, you can't see anything aside from some vague shapes wandering in the mist- maybe it's steam from dead titans that is swirling around you? Your nails dig into the tree's bark you are under, and you kneel down. The storm has to pass, it has to give sometime soon. That's what you tell yourself, at least. All I have to do is stay here until I spot someone. The entire rearguard has to come up eventually! Then I'll be safe again.

You nearly blackout when someone grabs you from behind. A dumb desire for it to be Isabel is quickly brushed aside as a tall man with blonde hair swipes you from the ground. "Mike?!"

"Thought I smelled someone under here," A man says, letting you go. "We're following the commander, don't fall off again!"

With more control than you could imagine. Mike falls back into her squad. You spot Commander Erwin and feel uneasy. It was rare to see him unhinged, but it becomes quite clear that he wasn't expecting this storm to be the downfall of this operation. With your good hand, you squeeze Mike's shoulder and exhale.

You feel guilty during that process of falling off the wagon. You didn't give a damn about anyone else besides yourself. Life doesn't provide you with enough time to do any real mental damage, though, because the clouds clear above, and all that you're surrounded by is steam... Titan steam. You can tell that by the odd stretch that is lingering in it.

You bring your suitable hand to your nose and make a face, giving the area a stern survey to find the rest of the column and regroup. Erwin turns his steed gently to the right in a light sprinkle and shouts. "Levi! Are you the only one left?"

Your heart sinks.

"The corpses of these titans..." Erwin continued. "You did this alone?"

Not alone, you think. Now frantically looking at the battered landscape. He had help. He had help from Furlan, Isabel, Sairam, and Flagon... Your squad. All the others... Your attention is briefly brought to Erwin as Levi tackles him off the horse and into the wet grounds, but you're again distracted by the sight of blood that isn't steaming. Limbs that aren't titans. Bodies draped over green cloaks.

"No," you mutter, following Mike off his horse, though for different reasons. "No. Please, no..."

"So they...All dead? I see." Erwin comments. Levi has his sword to his neck. Spiel soon unfolds that you have some interest in, but your mind is fixed on the task of finding any other survivors other than Levi, but all you see is broken gear, arms and legs, blood, and a remaining chunk of titan flesh.

"Isabel, where are you?" You step over a half-eaten body. You regard the body, realizing it's Furlan. Your heart sinks deeper. You continue stepping back, looking at Furlan's body as if it might reanimate and come back to life, but it doesn't. He's dead, like so many others.

"No!" Erwin shouted, making you spin on your heel. You brush against something and look down. "IT WAS THE TITANS!!"

Then... You find your answer... Your eyes swell with tears, and you fall to your knees, unable to say or feel anything other than disappearing now.

"Where did the titans come from? Why do they exist? Why do they eat people? We don't know! We're completely ignorant." Erwin's words echo in your head. "And as long as we stay ignorant, they'll keep eating us. We'll never turn the tables on them by staying inside the walls."

Turn the tables... you think.

You fall to your back and stare at the clouded sky as God rays begin to pierce through it. "Turn the tables..."

Amongst the growing sensation of a new form of hate is the sense of all that regret.

ENDING NOTES:

As I try to do every time, I would like to thank you, the reader, who gave your time to read what I have produced. At the time of making this fan fiction, I have published five stories and have completed 4 of them (including this story.)

All of my other stories have rather good/wholesome endings, a flirt, and a bright future. However, when I started to produce this work of fiction, I decided at the very beginning that I wasn't going to make this a happy ending. I wanted to keep AoT's dark theme, and this was a pinnacle moment for Levi. The death of his friends made him into the person everyone loves. It sounds terrible, and it is terrible. But I wanted to mimic that here too.

Unfortunately, this is my least popular upload right now, so it is unlikely I will return and "fix" a happier ending for this project like I've debated once I get closer to making this final chapter. I also debated killing the MC but thought heartbreak was better fitting. Was I right?

Anyway, if you enjoyed this story, I encourage you to read my other stories, where happy endings are around every corner, and the guy gets the girl.