Walls Between Us

07 | baby come back

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C A R T E R

My son still has his baby smell and I can't seem to get enough of it.

I have been inhaling the scent of his hair every five minutes as he plays with his building blocks by my side.

He looks just like me.

The way my heart started to thud right out of my chest the moment I laid my eyes on him was the best ten seconds of my life. When he looked at me with his green eyes and then ran to grab my leg had me breaking down right at the door.

I run my fingers through his dark curls again, letting the soft strands escape from the gaps between my fingers. I am sitting behind him with one elbow propped up on my lifted knee while my other hand rests on the floor of his room. He has been showing me all his toys, calling me 'Uncle Carter' as he does.

The fact that Amaya didn't introduce me as his father bothers me a little but I know that what she did was necessary.

She doesn't trust me yet. I have to take it slow with her.

"Here we go, Parker. Aunt Lucy's cookies are ready," I hear her soft voice as she enters the room.

Her legs are now covered by a pair of black slacks unlike before when they had been bare for my eyes. I follow her movements while she sits in front of Parker and places a tray of cookies near him.

Parker instantly picks one with his small hand, taking a large but small bite.

Amaya smiles, her beautiful face lightening up in a way that sends a pang to my heart. She notices me staring and looks down immediately.

"You can have one too, Carter," she says, pushing the plate towards me.

I pick one up, my eyes on her as I take a bite. The taste of chocolate melts on my tongue.

"It's good, Am," I comment.

If I am not seeing things, I see her blush a little.

"Mommy, look...I drew Uncle Carter!" Parker exclaims, shoving the sheet with his drawing toward his Mom.

He has drawn me in the ugliest but loveliest way possible. In the figure, I am round and have holes above my stick-like nose instead of eyes.

"It's beautiful, honey," Amaya says to him while trying her best to fight back a laugh.

Seeing her reacting that way has me smiling a little too. Who am I kidding? My son can draw me as the ugliest creature and I would still want to frame his art on my office wall.

I bend down, inhaling the scent of his hair again and closing my eyes. Amaya watches me with a blank expression.

"I can't get enough of him," I say to her, giving an excuse for my weird actions.

"It's fine. He's your son too."

She tucks a strand of her long hair behind her ear and my fingers start to itch to do the same. She has her hands placed under her knees while Parker plays on the floor between us, completely oblivious to the fact that he is between both his parents now, tying them together by an invisible thread.

For a few minutes, I get to see a future that could have been.

Maybe it could still be. Now that I am back, I can convince Amaya to be with me again. Whatever happened in the past can stay buried and we can start a new chapter of our life - with Parker.

"You named him after Dad," I say after a while to break the awkward silence.

"It wasn't me," she replies with a thin-lipped smile. "It was Melody."